Beautiful Disaster
by subscribed-vibes
Summary: I know a drugstore cowgirl, so afraid of getting bored. She's always running from something,so many things ignored. Beautiful disaster, flyin' down the street again. I tried to keep up. You wore me out and left me ate up. Now I wish you all the luck. You're a butterfly in the wind without a care. A pretty train crash to me and I can't care. I do. I don't. Whatever. AH.
1. All Mixed Up

_**Beautiful Disaster**_

_Chapter 1- All Mixed Up_

**A/N: There will be extreme abuse of drugs. Please do not read if you are faint of heart. *Injecting drugs is extremely dangerous, please do not try it at home(or anywhere, for that matter) It doesn't make you cool.***

**Also, I don't want your bitching. I know your mother taught you that if you don't have anything nice to say, to not say it at all.**

***All Human.***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><em>I know a drugstore cowgirl, so afraid of getting bored.<br>She's always running from something, so many things ignored.  
>I might do that stuff if, it didn't make me feel like shit.<br>I'm on some old reality tip, so many trips in it._

_Beautiful disaster,  
>Flyin' down the street again.<br>I tried to keep up.  
>You wore me out and left me ate up.<br>Now I wish you all the luck.  
>You're a butterfly in the wind without a care.<br>A pretty train crash to me  
>and I can't care.<br>I do, I don't, whatever._

_-Beautiful Disaster, 311_

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Giddy.

Giddy could explain exactly how I feel right now. That, and a little bit anxious.

As I watch Jacob melting my love into a liquid and sucking it into the syringe, I twitch with anticipation. I say 'love' because it's one of only things in this world that makes me happy. The other thing is Rosalie. My best friend since we first met in the sixth grade.

I can't even say I love Jacob, and I never _have _said it to him, because I don't. He's someone who loves the same thing as me. We share common likes, and we share an apartment, a shitty one at that.

"Hold your arm out for me, baby." Jacob whispers softly.

He wraps part of a ripped t-shirt that we've began using as a tourniquet, tightly around my small bicep. Lining the needle up with my vein, my heart rate sky rockets and a wicked smile crosses my face.

"Damn, hurry it up." Rosalie and Emmett both mumble in unison.

As soon as the words leave their mouths, Jacob shoots the liquid heaven into my arm, then removes the ripped t-shirt. Instant peace and warmth spread through my veins, coursing through my body, making me dizzy with happiness. I open my eyes and try to correct my blurry vision but I just feel too damn good to even try. I hum along with my buzzing body, feeling as if I'm flying.

High.

Really high.

A tiny moan escapes me as another wave of overwhelming warmth takes over my body. I feel a hand on my chest, pushing me backwards, my head landing softly on the carpet below. I keep my legs crossed, and let the painkiller and the music playing in the background control my entire being. The music and Vicodin flowing through my veins lifting me up towards the sky like Simba.

My stomach falls suddenly, making my heart stammer in my chest.

"Oh, God..." I hear Rosalie mumble from beside me, lying her body against mine.

Obviously her high is just as amazing.

I laugh loudly. "God cannot answer your call right now, please leave a message."

I choke back more giggles and Rosalie bellows a laugh. "Beeeeeeeeeep."

The sound rings in my ears, making my eyes roll into the back of my head. I feel the soft gentle touch of Rosalie's arm across my hips, it sends shivers up my spine, causing my whole body to erupt into goosebumps.

It might just be the drug, but Rosalie and I always seem to get physical when we're high. We never go past kissing, or at least we haven't gotten there yet. Even if Jacob is my..boyfriend or whatever he wants to call himself, and Emmett's with Rosalie. I just think they like to watch...sick bastards.

You see, I've always had a thing for Rosalie. I'm far from a lesbian per say, but I do think she's amazing. Probably the most beautiful girl you'd ever meet. Any guy would die to be with Rosalie. Tall, sexy legs. Small waist, a medium sized chest. Long, straight, honey blonde hair. Piercing blue eyes. Amazing smile with perfect white teeth. Don't get me wrong, she's no where near the barbie type. She has quite a few tattoos and piercings, like me.

They are all in the sexiest places, in my opinion. She has branches of a tree with pink flowers going up the full length of both her sides, a lotus flower under her belly button by her left hip, and both our initials right under her right ear on her neck- we got the same tattoo right before we graduated.

And her piercings? Mmm. She has a curved barbell eyebrow piercing, and a monroe.

I snake my arm around Rosalie's back and rub soothing circles. Rosalie hums, setting her head in the crook of my neck. Her soft blue eyes meet my own as her fingers lightly skim my cheek, inviting my lips to hers.

"Fuck yeah," Emmett howls as he watches.

"Shut up, Em." Rosalie whispers loud enough for him to hear, her hot breath smothering my lips.

She gets up and straddles my hips, her lips lightly hovering over mine, her hair covering us like a tent. I giggle at how cute she looks, my body still floating from the high.

She presses her lips to mine, kissing them softly.

Soft turns rough, hot, and steamy in a matter of seconds, our hands roaming each others body. Exploring.

A shrill ringing causes me to tense beneath her, but it quickly stops, and we continue to get hot and heavy.

"Hello?" Mike's voice is a deep and raspy whisper. "Yeah man, let me ask her." I hear shuffling, and then, "Bella, how many painkillers you got to sell?" Mike asks.

"Enough." I mumble in between kisses.

"Damn babe, that's so sexy." Emmett says, sounding closer than he was before.

"She says she has enough to sell to you, come on over, dude." A pause, and then, "Yeah, It's been awhile, bro." He chuckles. "See ya soon."

"Who was that?" Emmett asks curiously.

"Cullen."

I stop kissing Rosalie at the mention of this 'Cullen' kid. I've heard a lot about him, mostly good things.

I heard he's sexy in a tortured artist kind of way, but quiet and mostly keeps to himself. Talented with a guitar and piano. Generous, smokes a lot of weed, listens to good music, and has a couple tattoos. I also heard he's addicted to painkillers, like me. I've always wanted to meet this kid, but I never got to. This is the first time he'd be buying off me, which is odd, because James Holmes and I are the only dealers.

"Dude. I haven't seen Cullen in a good while." Emmett says.

"Yeah, I heard he's been in rehab." Mikes states casually.

Emmett bellows a laugh. "Rehab didn't work, I'm guessing."

Rosalie starts kissing my neck, causing me to grab a hold of her hips tightly. She moves back up to my mouth and kisses me roughly, making the guys howl and watch intently. Her hand travels up my shirt and grabs my right boob, teasing my nipple softly. I moan, traveling my hands up her sides and into her hair.

A loud clearing of someones throat causes us to stop and look in their direction. Rosalie quickly moves off and sits beside me. I fix my hair and adjust myself as best as I can, but I'm shaky.

When I look up, I see the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on. I can't help the smile on my face, it almost hurts. It's permanently frozen with a smile. My whole body breaks out into goosebumps and my heart rate skyrockets to the point where I can hear my heart beating loudly in my ears.

And my stomach? I don't know what's going on down there. Is this what they call 'butterflies'? Because, I think that would be an understatement.

Like shit...how beautiful can one guy be? His fucking eyes are like...the prettiest shade of green I've ever seen. Like the color of freshly cut grass, or a luminous forest. I've never seen eyes that vivid and striking, and his jaw is perfectly chiseled...

_I want to lick it..._

"Edward, this is my _girlfriend_, Bella." Jacob says icily.

I hold back a laugh at Jacob's possessive tone, but Edward seems to thinks it's funny, too. He didn't even try to hold back his chuckle.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." Edward says in the most soothing velvet voice I've ever heard.

The sound of his voice makes my whole body shiver. His eyes on me feel like I'm in a blazing inferno. Would it be weird if I just went and attacked him with a hug? Because that's what my body wants to do right now.

"I...uh...I...it... goddammit," I huff. "It's nice to...meet you, too." I stammer softly, internally cursing myself for acting like such an idiot.

He smiles widely at me, causing my body to set further ablaze.

_Jesus._

How could one guy do all this to me? I've never felt anything like this before in my life.

And his smile?

Is he sent from heaven?

I think he is.

He gives me a crooked grin, and I swear to God my thong is probably soaked now.

Or maybe it's me melting.

Rosalie clears her throat, setting her hand on my thigh and squeezing tightly, making me jump a little. "Bells, are you alright?" She whispers softly in my ear.

All I can do is nod, because my sights are still set on Mr. Perfect sitting right in front of me on the couch.

Her whisper drops even lower so no one can hear. "Are you sure? You're staring. It's not like you to stare."

I nod again.

"Bella." Jacob says sternly through my thick cloud of...Edward.

My eyes are still locked on his, and I can't seem to pull them away.

"Bella." Jacob says more loudly.

I rip my eyes away from Edward's and whip my head to look at Jacob. "What?" I say with a bitchy tone, aggravated he took me away from what I want.

...Wait. Did I just say I want Edward?

I just met this guy. What's wrong with me?

"Could you please stop the staring contest and give the man what he wants?" Jacob says irritably.

I'm almost tempted to walk up and offer myself.

I mean...er, um, what?

"Uh...yeah, sorry." I say softly.

I grab for my purse and pull out my stash of Vicodin. "How much money do you have?"

"A hundred." He says softly. His voice sends shivers through me and straight to my pussy. A light moan escapes my mouth, my eyes widening in surprise of my own actions.

Everyone's head veers to look at me with a 'What the fuck?' look.

"I uh..um.."

Shit. I can't even fucking count right now. What is a hundred divided by four?

Right. Twenty five. Idiot.

I pull a baggy out of my purse and put thirty in the bag.

My reasoning for giving him five extra? Don't ask me, ask my fingers. My body seems to have a mind of it's own right now.

God, he probably thinks I'm stupid.

As I'm handing him the bag, his fingers lightly brush over the top of my hand. Bolts of electricity shoot up my arm and we both jerk our hands away at the same time.

Did he feel that too?

Maybe I should cut down a little on the Vicodin...or maybe I should just do more...

"Thanks." He says softly, handing over the money.

I stuff it in my pocket and sit back down cross-legged.

Everyone is looking at me with wide eyes, and I can't find it in me to care, because the only thing I care about right now is touching the guy in front of me. Ripping that cute beanie off his head, running my hands through his hair...Taking off his hoodie, sliding my hand up his stomach and chest..

Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me?

"So, Cullen. How you been, man?" Emmett asks him.

"I've been alright." He says curtly, his eyes taking me in.

Jacob leans over and whispers softly in my ear, "You ready for another, babe?"

My first reaction to him being so close was to punch him in the face, but that quickly subsided as he asked if I wanted another shoot.

I nod, keeping my eyes locked on Edward. Jacob prepares my arm and lines the needle up. I see Edwards eyes grow wide, with concern, and something else I can't quite put my finger on. I almost don't want to do it, so I can wipe that horrified look off his face, but, I want that feeling. I _need_ that feeling right now. Maybe it will make me stop acting like such a fucking weirdo.

As soon as that liquid hits my veins, I try as hard as I can to keep my eyes on Edward. Of course, it doesn't work, and I immediately shut my eyes and let the warmth take over my body.

My whole body begins vibrating, to the point where I think I could start sawing a hole in the carpet.

A couple minutes later, and it begins to feel like too much. I try to breathe, but I feel like I can't get enough air in my lungs. I grab at my chest and try to get everything to stop. I try to make out words, and speak, but nothing coherent is coming out.

I immediately feel large arms and a sweet musky smell surround me. I relax slightly, but my whole body is on fire from the contact.

Am I dying? Is this heaven?

"I think she's overdosing." I hear an angelic voice shouting. "How much did you give her?" The angel is angry.

"Forty milligrams." I hear Jacob say back.

"How much does she normally shoot?"

"Well..like..thirty." Jacob grumbles.

"What the fuck!" I hear Rosalie shout angrily. "Call a fucking ambulance! I can't believe you, Jacob! Were you trying to fucking kill her? You knew how much she took just a little bit ago!"

"I'm fucking out of here, man! I can't get in trouble with the po." I hear Emmmet bark.

"You're such a jerk, Em!" Rosalie barks at Emmett.

"I'm out too, peace." I hear another voice, probably Mike.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I hear Jacob whisper.

I grunt at his voice and try to open my eyes but the buzzing is controlling everything.

I hear angry footsteps and the front door slamming.

I feel soft touches on my forehead and I realize the only person that could be holding me is.._him._

"E-e-dward." I stutter, trying to reach out and grab him, but I can't lift my arms.

I'm paralyzed.

"Don't call an ambulance! My father has an office at home. He's a doctor. I'll take her. Rosalie, will you come with me?"

"Of course, I'd never leave her like this. She's my best fucking friend. Let's go. _Now_."

I try to talk again, try to say that I _am_ okay, but I don't really know if I am, or will be. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm starting to get scared. I can hear myself whimpering but it's not voluntary.

"She's crying." I hear Rosalie sob. "I can't believe that asshole did this to her. Thank you, Edward. This means a lot."

I feel him wipe my face. "Shh. Shh. It's okay, beautiful. It's going to be okay." I feel myself being lifted and carried outside.

As soon as he sets me down, I can't hear anything, and It's getting harder and harder to stop myself from falling into the abyss that's trying to consume me whole.

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	2. Adrenaline

_Chapter 2- Adrenaline_

**A/N: If anyone wants to be my beta, just PM me. I need one desperately for this fic. **

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><p><em>She said, 'Walk on over here to the bitter shade,<em>

_I will wrap you in my arms_

_And you'll know you've been saved._

_-Let me Sign_

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Bella Swan.

By far the most attractive girl I have ever seen, but not in an ordinary kind of way. A naturally striking kind of way. The second I laid eyes on her, my body and mind were completely consumed by her. Everything else melted away as we stared at each other, and ranges of emotions coursed through my entire body.

Lust raged through me like a freight train. Every part of me wanted to reach out and grab her.

_Her mouth. _Her tongue poking out in the sexiest of ways, almost like it was inviting me to join.

_Her lips. _Red and plump, forming an adorable natural pout, looked suckable to the point it made my mouth water with want. It didn't help that whenever I looked at them, she'd lick them.

_Her voice. _It was the most amazing sound I've ever heard, angelic even. It was like music to my ears.

_Her skin. _Pale, and almost translucent, was absolutely beautiful. Every fiber of my being wanted to trace every curve on her delectable body.

_Her breasts. _How could any man not jump her? No bra. Small, perky, and just the right size. Her nipples taut and pebbled as she raked her eyes over my body the same way I was hers.

Her chocolate brown eyes, almost hypnotizing, flickered with emotion, but one emotion caught my eye the most.

_Lust_. Pure, and hungry need.

Relief, and more lust washed over me at the sight of that lustful glint in her eye. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one feeling those things.

The fact that Jacob is her boyfriend, however, doesn't change my feelings towards her, whatsoever. It didn't seem like she cared for him anyways, considering she was making out with Rosalie when I walked in.

Which was probably one of the most erotic things I'd ever seen.

That's beside the point, what I am trying to say is, whether I am willing or not, this girl holds so much power over me. No matter what kind of burden all these things are, makes no difference to me.

I don't really have the time to stop and think about why I feel these things, but there's one thing I'll think about extensively. _Fucking killing Jacob for doing this to her._

This is exactly why I never shoot it up. It's too dangerous. I don't want to think about if she doesn't make it out of this alive.

I can't.

I won't be able to live with myself. I've never felt this way with anyone else. I can't let her die.

I can't.

The fact that if it were only her and Jacob there, and how he would have left her to die, makes me want to go find him right now and rip him limb from limb. What kind of person leaves their girlfriend to die? Over petty jealousy? There has to be more to it than that, but my priority right now is keeping Bella alive.

With all these emotions running through me it's hard to concentrate on driving. My body is shaking with overwhelming fear and worry, sadness and frustration.

I take out my phone and shakily dial Carlisle's number.

"_Carlisle speaking."_

"Dad! Dad! My friend is overdosing! Get the room ready!" I hold back sobs, but panic is clear in my voice. "Please! You have to help her...please!..."

He hangs up without a word said, most likely to get everything ready, and I drive faster.

"Why won't she stop crying?" Rosalie sobs loudly from the back seat.

I shake my head and try to calm myself down long enough to make it to the house.

All of a sudden, Bella becomes silent.

Fear creeps up my spine as I reach over the seat to touch Bella to feel if she's hot, cold, or anything to indicate that she is going to make it until we get to my dads house.

She's cold, and clammy. Cold, is bad. Clammy, is good. Clammy means her heart is beating, but the fact that she's cold means that her heart isn't pumping enough oxygen through her veins. She doesn't have much longer.

"Fuck!" I scream. "Why! Fucking why!" I bang my hands on the steering wheel roughly and slam my foot on the accelerator until I can't go any faster.

"She's so cold. That's not good!" Rosalie tries to shake Bella to wake her. "Bella! Bella, please! You can't leave me like this! I need you! I fucking love you, Bella!" She sobs violently. "I fucking love you! Please!...Please..."

I feel tears run down my cheeks and I wipe them off angrily.

A small sob and a whimper come from deep within me. "Fuck!" I scream loudly and grip the steering wheel tightly. "Goddammit!"

Fucking two more minutes. We'll be there in two minutes._ Please make it. Please._

I hear gurgling noises coming from Bella, and look over to see her convulsing.

"Rosalie! Hold her tongue!" I instruct her, panic pumping through my veins. "She's having a seizure! Make sure she doesn't swallow her tongue!"

More sobs escape me as I try to hold back tears to see the road. Rosalie is having a full-on panic attack in the back seat, as she reaches over into the passenger seat and inserts two fingers into Bella's mouth. Rosalie's breath is coming out in quick, short pants. At the rate she's breathing, she'll be passed out in minutes.

"Breathe, Rosalie! She's going to be okay! Alright?" I scream, trying to convince the both of us. I reach my hand back and quickly lock eyes with her, running my hand through her hair soothingly. "I need you to calm down, or you're going to pass out." I advert my eyes back to the road, making sure I get us all to the house safely. "Take deep breaths, in and out, in and out," I demonstrate for her, trying to calm myself down with her.

Rosalie breathes along with me, leaning forward and stroking Bella's forehead.

"Good, that's good. In and out. In. Out. That's it." I give her a small reassuring smile.

She gives me a tiny appreciative smile back, quickly turning her attention back to Bella.

"It sounds like she's not getting any air! I don't know what to do!" Rosalie screams, .

I pull down our long bricked driveway and slam on the breaks, honking the horn to signal we're here.

"We're here!" I get out of the car quickly and run to the passenger side. "Rosalie help me!" I scream.

Bella is dead weight as we carry her inside, she's writhing -convulsing in our arms. Both Rosalie and I sobbing as we try to get to the room as fast as possible.

On our way to the room, Bella stops convulsing and we both start to run faster, terrified she isn't going to make it. As soon as we make it to the room, Carlisle takes her from us, lays her down on the table and puts an oxygen mask on her.

Rosalie throws herself at me, squeezing me tightly and crying heavily onto my shoulder. Carlisle is prepping Bella. Getting IVs in, checking her vitals, and setting up the machines.

"She's still breathing. That's a good sign." He says with trepidation.

I let go of Rosalie, rushing to Bella's side and checking for myself. I lean my head down to her chest and check her breathing. Nothing.

"Carlisle! She's _not_ breathing!" I scream hysterically.

"Stand back, Edward! I need to give her CPR." He yells back.

"Let me do it!" I bellow out without thinking, my thoughts running together in a jumble. The situation is more than overwhelming, I've never had to deal with anything like this before.

I go through the steps in my head before quickly taking action.

I take the oxygen mask off, tilt her head back, and pinch her nose. I let out a deep breath before bringing my lips to hers.

The second my lips touch hers, an electric shock runs through me, and she twitches roughly.

_What was that?_

I quickly blow three large breaths into her mouth, pull back, and start pumping her chest.

After three reps, I check her lungs again to find she's breathing more heavily now, but her breaths are still shallow.

I brush the hair off her forehead tenderly, before stepping back to allow Carlisle to inject Naloxone into her IV to counteract the opiates.

"What did she inject, Edward?" Carlisle asks.

"Vicodin, I think. Rosalie?" I ask her, in case she injected something else I didn't know about.

"Yeah. Vicodin."

"How much, and when was it injected?" Carlisle asks.

"Forty milligrams, about a half hour ago." I answer, pacing back and forth.

"And thirty milligrams a half hour before that." Rosalie says.

Carlisle's eyes widen in shock.

I feel anger rise in my veins, and I clench my fists at my sides. Jacob had to have known it was going to kill her! She would never willingly inject that much so close together.

She fucking trusted him!

_He's. Fucking. Dead._

"Does she normally take that much so close together?" I ask angrily.

"Actually, no. Never." Rosalie answers.

"I thought you were friends with her, Edward." Carlisle speaks up in curiosity.

"I just met her today." I admit sheepishly.

"Ed-Edward..." We hear Bella choke out.

I rush back to her, and let out a relieved whimper.

She still hasn't opened her eyes, and she's thrashing her legs.

"It's okay, Bella. I'm here." I whisper to her. "Bella. I need you to look at me."

Rosalie is at her feet, trying to calm her thrashing legs.

"Good. The antidote is working."

"Thank God." Rosalie sobs, clutching her chest as if in pain.

"I'm very glad I didn't need to put a breathing tube in her." Carlisle states as he starts prepping more things for her.

"Rosalie. Do you know her blood type?" Carlisle asks.

"I don't know..I..we were at the doctor in eight grade and I heard him say something about O negative..." She sniffles. "But I don't know if that really is hers."

"It's best if we try. Giving her fresh blood will also counteract the drugs."

I'd always heard Rosalie and Bella were inseparable. Now, I know that's true.

They've been best friends for almost nine years. That's a long time to be with someone. I'm glad they have each other.

Carlisle finishes setting up her transfusion. "Edward, may I see you outside please?"

I plead with my eyes for Rosalie to watch over her while I'm talking to Carlisle. She nods and I follow Carlisle out of the room.

Once out of the room, he sets his hand on my shoulder lovingly. "I'm very proud of you, son."

"Thanks, Dad."

"It's nice to see you caring about something again." He calmly states, a proud smile on his face.

"Yeah. I feel something with her. It's strange, I know. We just met, but I can't shake the feeling no matter how hard I try."

He gives me a crooked smile before whispering, "Instant connection, huh?"

"I guess you could say that." I whisper back, taking off my beanie and sticking it in my back pocket, so I can run my hand through my hair.

His smile grows wider. "That's how it was with Esme..." He says in a loving voice. "It's wonderful to see it in person with you and Bella. It's been too long."

I give him a small smile.

"Why don't you go get Rosalie and yourself some water. I think Bella is going to be just fine. We just need to give her some time to recuperate."

"I don't want to leave her for any longer, Carlisle."

"It'll only take a minute, son."

I nod, and walk into the kitchen to grab some water bottles. I take the baggy of pills out of my pocket, dumping three in my hands, and pop them into my mouth. I wash them down with water and calmly walk back into the room.

I hand Rosalie a water bottle and she chugs it like she's been dying of thirst for years.

She breathes deeply before whispering, "Thanks..." She sniffles. "For everything, you know."

I nod softly, and walk over besides her.

I look down at Bella, who looks so peaceful sleeping. Her lips are parted slightly, her eyelids flickering softly.

"God..I don't know what I'd do if I lost her.." Rosalie sobs, putting her hands over her face. "She's my best friend. My other half. _I fucking love her._" She mumbles through her hands.

I pat her back, then rub soothing circles. "I told you she'd be alright."

She takes her hands away from her face and gives me a small smile.

**... ... ... ...**

**Twelve hours later.**

Rosalie and I haven't left Bella's side, and she still hasn't woken up.

When I hold her hand, she twitches and says my name, like she knows it's me.

_It's the weirdest thing._

"Edward, you and Rosalie should get some rest." Carlisle says in a fatherly tone.

"No." Me and Rosalie say in unison.

Carlisle chuckles, "Very well, then."

Carlisle has given her three blood transfusions, and informed us that all the drugs are out of her system, and she is just tired from all of the trauma.

He has been giving her small doses of Vicodin every four hours, in order to keep her from going into withdrawal and getting sick.

I scoot closer to Bella, placing my hand on her forehead and stroking her hair back in a soothing motion.

She stirs subtly before I see her eyelids twitching.

Rosalie gasps. "Oh my God. Edward, I think she's actually waking up." She says softly.

Bella's arms rise up and frantically pull and tug at my shirt, trying to pull me closer to her. I let her, letting my body gravitate towards her.

Bella is hugging me to her tightly, and I smile to myself.

Our skin to skin contact is a slight burning sensation, but, it's soothing.

"Mmm," Bella hums. "Edward."

She smiles softly and I feel Rosalie stand up and walk to my side to watch Bella wake up.

"I'm so happy you're okay, Bells." Rosalie sings.

Bella's eyes fly open, studying my face until they land on my eyes. Her grip on me loosens, but only for a second. She pulls me even closer to her so my head is resting on her chest and hers is in the crook of my neck.

We stay like that for what seems like an forever, before she pulls back and whispers, "What happened?"

"That dirt bag injected you with too much. Seriously, I could fucking kill the stupid fuck." Rosalie barks from the end of the bed.

"I could too." I whisper to myself.

"I could too, do you know how much? I don't remember anything after he injected me..." Bella asks softly.

"Fucking forty goddamn milligrams." Rosalie hisses.

"Holy fuck." She exclaims. "He was _trying_ _t_o kill me?" Bella asks in disbelief.

"Personally, I think he did it out of jealousy."

Someone's phone is ringing, and I check my pocket to see if it's mine. "Not me." I clarify.

"Speaking of the stupid fuck." Rosalie says as she looks at her phone.

"It's Jacob?" I ask angrily.

Rosalie doesn't respond, she just answers it. "What the fuck do you want?" She hisses into the phone.

"Well, you aren't going to. _Ever again._" Rosalie screams.

Rosalie slams her phone shut and looks up at us with wide eyes. "He wants to see you, Bells."

Bella's eyes widen with fear and concern.

"No." I say sternly.

"I don't want to see him." Bella says quietly, her hold on my arm getting stronger.

"It's okay, Bella. You don't have to." I say calmly.

I look up at Rosalie. "Did he say where he was?" I ask hastily.

She shakes her head no.

"_Find out._" I say coldly.

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><p><strong>I want reviews!<strong>

**I will update as soon as I possibly can.**

**I love each and every one of you.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**-Cassie x**


	3. Adrenaline Part 2

_Chapter 3- In a Rush_

***A/N: I am soo sorry for a very late update. I had gotten a job that took up most of my time, but I got laid off so I am back to writing a lot. Please review this chapter. It would mean a lot to me. Reviews always keep me going.**

**The next update should be tomorrow so hang tight on yet another chapter. **

**I love you all! Don't forget to check out the pics and info on my profile about BD! Thanks for reading!***

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><p>Chapter two- EPOV<p>

_Rosalie slams her phone shut and looks up at us with wide eyes. "He wants to see you, Bells."_

_Bella's eyes widen with fear and concern._

_"No." I say sternly._

_"I don't want to see him." Bella says quietly, her hold on my arm getting stronger._

_"It's okay, Bella. You don't have to." I say calmly._

_I look up at Rosalie. "Did he say where he was?" I ask hastily._

_She shakes her head no._

_"Find out." I say coldly._

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><p><strong>BPOV <strong>

Reality comes crashing down on me. Edward hurting Jacob will only fuck things up. I won't have a place to live if things get too serious with Jacob, and I wouldn't forgive myself if Edward got hurt because of me.

I have to talk him out of it.

But, first...

"Wait," I say quickly. "Can I talk to Rosalie...alone for a minute?" I say to Edward, his eyes pleading with mine, filled with confusion and residual anger. After the initial shock, Edward quickly and quietly leaves me and Rosalie alone.

"Ros-" She cuts me off with a crushing hug, and I let out a sad, but relieved whimper.

"I'm so fucking glad you're okay, Bella. I was worried sick about you." Her soft-spoken muffled words make my heart ache.

I don't even want to think about if I didn't make it, Rosalie would never be the same. I have to start being more careful. If it was Rosalie...I know _I'd_ never be the same.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry, Rose. I should have checked with Jacob about how much he was giving me. I'm so _stupid_." I sob into her hair.

Rosalie still hasn't let go of me, and I don't mind, I like being close to Rosalie, I feel safe. She's my rock, she means the world to me.

She leans back and gives me a stern look. "Don't you dare blame this on yourself." She scolds. "This is all that fuckers fault." She whispers maliciously, her ice blue eyes shining with hatred and sadness.

I give her a small smile, and hug her to me again.

"I love you, Bells." She whispers quietly, running her hand through my hair in a comforting manner.

Rosalie and I barely tell each other we love each other, but we both know we do. She's my best friend and that will never change.

"I love you too, Rosalie." I squeeze her tighter, then let go.

We stand there and stare at each other for a few moments before I finally speak. "We can't hurt Jacob."

"Bella-"

"No, Rose. We can't. Where would I live? He'd hate me and throw me out." I argue quietly. "I have to go talk to him..." I sigh. "By myself." I add hesitantly.

"I'm not letting you go see him by yourself, Bella. What if he tries to hurt you!" She yells, throwing her arms up in a wild gesture.

"Rose, I'll be fine. It's not like he'll hit me? I can take care of myself, you know that better than anyone." I assure her. "What if he injected too much on accident?" I ask.

"Bella, that was no accident. He knew exactly how much he injected! He was trying to hurt you!" She screams hysterically. "Possibly even kill you!" She lets out a sob, hanging her head and hiding her face in her hands.

"Come here," I whisper, holding my arms out to her.

She walks over slowly, -beside me and cuddling into my side.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you...I just...I really thought I was going to lose you. I...what if...I just wouldn't be able to live without you, Bella." She says sadly.

"It's okay, Rosalie," I hug her tighter to me, resting my head on hers. "I'm right here. I'm okay." I whisper softly, rocking us slowly back and forth, but careful as to not tug at the wires in me.

I hope Rosalie remembered to bring my purse with us, otherwise Jacob would have stolen everything I had. I really wouldn't put it past him. He's never stolen from me before, though...

Wait...come to think about it...pills have gone missing before, but I just thought I took more or I didn't keep track well enough. Fuck.

"Rosalie, did you bring my purse?" I ask, confused.

"Yeah, I left it in Edwards car, I'll have him grab it in a little bit. What do you need it for?" She asks quickly, looking back and forth between my eyes.

"I need to text Jacob, and I want my stash." I answer, suddenly wanting a shoot really bad.

"Bella, I'm going with you to see Jacob. I'm not leaving you alone with him. Best friends stick together." She says.

I let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. Just..let's try to keep things calm...no hitting him, Rose." I say with a small smile.

She lets out a tiny chuckle. "Fine, fine. For you."

We sit quietly for a few minutes, holding each other, and thinking about how we're going to go about the Jacob situation.

"Bella...?" Rosalie whispers.

"Yeah, Rose?"

"What's up with you and Edward? It's just...I've never seen you act that way with someone...and we've known each other a long time...you just met him."

I think about it for a minute, but the only thing I can come up with is that Edward and I have an extreme attraction?

That doesn't seem to even describe it at all.

"That's a good question," I chuckle lightly. "I don't know...but I do feel connected to him for some strange reason. It's not just...an attraction I guess...or maybe it is...I have no idea...it's kind of scary because I've never felt anything like this before."

"You can't possibly love him, Bella..you don't even know him, really." She says, confused.

"I don't love him, I never said that..." I tell her, my brows furrowing in confusion. "That'd be impossible, but I do have a strong feeling about Edward. It's just so confusing." I say softly.

"Bella..what about Jacob?" She asks, looking at me with her comforting ice blue eyes. "You guys are definitely...over...right?"

"I have never felt anything strong with Jacob." I say, becoming more and more defeated. "But...I can't leave him."

"You can, Bella. You always have a choice. You could always stay with me and Emmett."

"I couldn't do that to you guys. I'll be fine staying with Jacob. I won't let him do it anymore, I'll do it myself."

"Be careful, Bella. I'm serious. I know you used to do it yourself but it's been a while since then..."

"I will. I promise." I say confidently.

She holds out her pinky to me, and I link mine around hers. We kiss our linked pinkies then kiss each others lips softly.

Rosalie takes out her phone from her pocket. "I'm calling Edward to go get your purse and come back in." She says to me.

I hear the phone ringing from where I'm sitting but it quickly goes to voice mail.

"He's not answering.." Rosalie says confused.

"Try him again." Wait..

"How do you know Edwards number?" I ask, I thought she just met him too..

"I uh...I've met him a couple times before," She says hesitantly, avoiding eye contact.

"Rose, why didn't you say anything?" I ask, pulling on her face to look into her eyes.

"I didn't think it was important...Shit! He's still not answering!" Rosalie screams, quickly getting aggravated.

She gets up from the bed and looks out the window.

"His car isn't here, Bella..." She says, starting to panic.

"Do you think...?" I ask, not even bothering to finish my sentence.

"I don't know, Bella. He doesn't know where he is though...but I'm sure it wouldn't take long to find him."

"We have to go back to the apartment! I know they'll be there." I say quickly, trying to figure out how we can get to Edward and Jacob.

"Bella, we took Edwards car. I'll have to call Emmett to come get us."

"Well, hurry up!" I scream loudly. "Call Emmett!"

I'm starting to panic and the monitors I'm hooked up to start beeping loudly, quickly reminding me that I could have died.

The door to the room opens and Dr. Cullen comes walking in.

"Bella, you need to calm down, alright? Take some deep breaths for me." He says, resting his hand on my forearm.

"But-" I start, but Rosalie cuts me off.

"Can you actually unhook her? We need to go, but thank you so much for taking care of my best friend. It means a lot."

"Sure, but please, I need you to take it easy, Bella. Can you do that for me?"

I take a couple deep breaths and nod my head, but my worries still haven't subsided completely. I look over to Rosalie and she's on the phone with Emmett.

Dr. Cullen unhooks everything and gives me a bottle of water. "Remember what I told you, Bella. Take is easy. Do you have a place to go? Do you need a ride?" He asks sympathetically.

I wouldn't mind having Dr. Cullen as my father. He seems like a very caring and loving father, which I never had. Edward is very lucky to have a dad like him.

He pushes my hair out of my face and looks at me with kind eyes. "I have a guest bedroom, and if you ever need a place to go, you are _always_ welcome here. Do you understand?" He asks tenderly.

I nod slowly.

"I'm sure Edward feels the same way, too. I can take you wherever you need to go?" He asks.

"Emmett is on his way to get us, but thanks for the offer Dr. Cullen." Rosalie tells him.

He nods. "Please, call me Carlisle." He turns his attention to me again. "Bella, I'd like to be your therapist for your addiction. Would you like that?" He asks hesitantly.

Panic rises in my chest at the word 'therapist', and I don't know what to say. Should I? I don't know..

"I...I don't know...I um..." I stutter, unsure of what to say.

"It's okay, Bella. You don't have to decide right away. Let's keep in touch?" He asks.

I nod my head and give him my number, and he hands me his business card.

"Emmett's here." Rosalie says anxiously.

"Thanks for everything, Carlisle." I say, standing up and wrapping my arms around him in a hug.

"Anytime, Bella. I'm going out on a limb, here, but I consider you apart of the family. Edward seems to be very fond of you, already." He says with a lopsided grin.

I grin back at him. "I'm very fond of him, too," I whisper. "And thanks, really. You have no idea how much that means to me." I say emotionally.

It truly does mean a lot to me. A part of the family? Already? That's big...maybe he's just being nice...

I don't think too much on it since we're in a rush. We quickly make it out to Emmett's car and head towards the apartment.

On our way, Rosalie and I shoot one up from her stash, the anxiety being too much for us to handle.

When we pull up to the apartment, I look at Rosalie.

"Jacob's car is here." I state, having no idea what Edward's car looks like.

Rosalie looks all around the apartments' parking lot and spots Edward's car. "Edward's car is parked across the street. Let's go."

On our way up the steps we hear a loud crash and a very, very heated argument. I can feel my blood run cold and my heartbeat beating erratically.

Rosalie and I share a knowing look, then run up the steps faster than we thought possible.

"You go in first!" Rosalie screams to me, since I'm ahead of her.

The door is already open, looking like it's been kicked in. I walk in quickly and see Jacob with Edward in a choke-hold, both of them bloody. Edward is gurgling, trying to get air in his lungs, a panicked look on his beautiful face.

Both of their mouths are filled with blood, Jacob has blood running from his nose all the way down to his chin, and Edward has a cut above his eyebrow.

The scene before me makes my stomach blanch.

"Stop! Please! Stop hurting him!" I cry out, running over to Edward.

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><p><strong>*AN: If you didn't read my a/n above, I should have an update by this time tomorrow. I promise you that. So stay tuned you lovely lovely people. You are wonderful. And don't forget to review! I need some motivation! x***


	4. Rage

_Chapter 4- Rage_

***A/N: I told you, you all would have another chapter today. Here it is. Hope you enjoy. Please review if you like the story. It's hard to tell if I'm doing a good job without your guys' support. Thanks for reading! Love you all! x***

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><p><em>Wake up the dawn and ask her why.<br>A dreamer dreams, she never dies.  
>Wipe that tear away now from your eye.<br>Slowly walking down the hall,  
>Faster than a cannonball,<br>Where were you while we were getting high?_

_-Champagne Supernova, Oasis_

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I am so fucking confused, and _angry_. I'm pacing the kitchen like a crazed lunatic.

_Fuck. _What do I do? To fuck Jacob up, or to not fuck Jacob up? That, is the question.

Where is she going to go if I fuck things up between her and Jacob? She could definitely stay at my dads, he's very generous like that, or she could stay with me, but I'm sure she would want to be somewhere she's comfortable.

Carlisle is going to "discharge" her soon, I'm pretty sure, and where is she going to go then? Is she going to stay at her apartment with Jacob? Will she go to live with Rosalie? All these questions are driving me insane.

And, I understand that she needed to speak to Rosalie alone...but, at the same time, it didn't sit right with me.

I think she wants to talk to her about how I want to confront Jacob.

What she doesn't understand is that either way that stupid fuck is going to get what he deserves for trying to kill a beautiful girl, and it's going to be by _my_ hand.

He might not have intended to try to kill her...but I don't think there's mistaking how many pills you grab to inject.

He did that shit on purpose. His ass would be in jail if I would have actually brought her to a real hospital. My dad just didn't want to get involved with all the drama that would be associated with it. He saw it as doing his son a huge favor. Not that I deserve it...

I overhear Rosalie yelling about Jacob hurting Bella in the other room and it gets my blood pumping even more. My hands curl into fists at my sides and my breathing becomes labored as I picture in my head everything I want to do to that little fucker for even attempting what he did.

_I need to go clear my head_. _I need to calm down before I break something, or_ someone.

I look out the kitchen window, absently looking into the treeline of the forest, the birds chirping happily in the distance. I try taking deep, calming breaths but they just come out as shuddering pants.

_I need fresh air_, and a cigarette.

I rush out the back door, ignoring Carlisle calling my name, and run into the woods. The fresh air hits my lungs with a jolt, and combined with my running I still can't catch a good breath. I stop near a tree, my hands resting on my knees, and pant heavily.

Once I catch my breath, the anger I feel towards Jacob returns with a vengeance. I groan loudly in anger and frustration, punching the nearby tree repeatedly until my knuckles and the tree are covered in blood. I try to calm my breathing and grab handfuls of my hair and pull roughly.

The fucking pain in my knuckles is nothing compared to the anger coursing through my body. The pain is almost unnoticeable, but I pull out my baggy of pills anyway and throw back five, chewing them up and swallowing them. I scramble to light up and cigarette, inhaling the sweet nicotine and letting it soothe my frayed nerves.

The taste in my mouth makes me grimace, the combination of chemicals and tobacco

I need to sit and think before I go and do something that could potentially make Bella upset. That's the last thing I want. I have never acted this way before, especially not about a fucking girl. One I_ just_ met, at that. I'm usually quiet and keep to my fucking self. So why the hell does this girl get to me so fucking much?

_She makes my head spin._

I will fucking fight for her, though. She needs to be with someone that can treat her the way she deserves, take care of her, and be there for her. Not some asshole who tries to kill her for looking at another guy.

That shit is fucking ridiculous. Like, seriously, you only see that shit on _Snapped_.

It makes me wonder how he treated her before, when no one was around. Has he hit her before? Did they fight a lot?

What the fuck am I going to do about him?

_I need to find him._

I run my hands through my hair and take a few deep breaths before standing up and heading to my car. I'm going to have to go confront him without Bella or Rosalie, _fuck the consequences_. Bella deserves to have someone fight for her, and that asshole is going to get what _he_ deserves.

There's not that many places in Forks you can go, but I guess I should start with their apartment. Who knows, he could be back there by now.

I hurry to my car, trying to be as quiet as possible once I'm in the car as to not give off that I am leaving. I chain smoke on my way, my anger only getting stronger as the distance between me and Jacob decreases. I park across the street in a different parking lot, but close enough to where if I need a fast getaway, I can.

I run up the stairs as fast as I can, stopping once I'm in front of the door. I check the doorknob to see if it's locked quietly, and it is. I take three large steps back before using all of my weight to kick the door just under the doorknob. It flies open, colliding into the wall and causing a boisterous bang to ring through the apartment.

I smirk to myself.

_A grand entrance, if I do say so myself._

He jumps up from the couch to the left, his eyes wide and a scowl on his face.

"What the fuck, Cullen!" He snaps angrily.

He's alone.

_Perfect._

I storm across the room and get in his face.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" I spit at him, pulling him by the collar of his shirt.

"I'm Bella's _boyfriend, _that's who the _fuck_ I am!" He spits back at me, our mouths inches from each other.

"You had no fucking right to inject her with that much! You knew she'd overdose! What that your plan? To fucking _kill her_ for looking at another guy? _Jealous much_!" I seethe, my chest heaving from the anger pumping through my veins.

"I've dedicated three fucking years of my life to that bitch! She has never once told me she's loved me! After all that we've been through! She's a worthless piece of shit, and she deserved it!" Jacob snarls, his eyes dark with rage.

That's it, I've heard enough from his fucking mouth.

I draw my arm back, keeping a tight grip on his shirt collar, and punch the asshole right in the nose. My already bloody knuckles crack with the force of the blow. He lets out an ugly noise, and wipes the blood from his upper lip, his breathing heavy and ragged.

He recovers quickly, throwing a punch. He hits my temple, the giant ring on his middle finger cutting the flesh above my eyebrow. It fucking hurts, but it's bearable, and I push him onto the couch.

I straddle him, lightly choking him to hold him in place, and punch him repeatedly in the face until my knuckles can't take anymore, the cuts on them from earlier stinging like a bitch.

I stand up and take him with me, throwing him on the ground, and kicking him in the stomach. The sounds he's making are ugly, a combination of grunts and wails.

When I've run out of breath, I take a rest. I watch as he holds his stomach and whimpers from the pain, blood from his mouth seeping into the carpet under him.

I bend down, and whisper breathlessly into his ear. "Get the fuck up." I snarl. "Defend your '_girlfriend_' if you love her so much." I mock him.

I stand up straight, gaining the strength, and kick him once more. "_I said,_ get the fuck up!"

He scrambles to his feet, and I let him take a couple breaths so this can be a fair fight.

_Hah. As if he has a chance._

He blind sides me with a punch to the mouth, a coppery taste filling my mouth. I spit the blood at him, chuckling slightly, and he gets so angry I can see the vein in his forehead bulging.

He tackles me, spinning me around, wrapping his arm around my throat, effectively trapping me into a choke-hold.

"Is this all you fucking got? Huh, Jacob? This is all the fight you have for defending you and your _girlfriend_?" I choke out. "Some boyfriend you are, trying to kill your fucking girlfriend. I bet if everyone left, you would have left her to die, you fucking piece of shit." I manage to choke out, once again, and his grip on my neck tightens.

"You have no idea what it's like! To love someone and give them _everything_ and get nothing back!" He screams into my ear.

Suddenly I hear Rosalie's voice, followed by a disheveled Bella running into the apartment, stopping dead in her tracks as she takes in the scene before her.

"Stop! Please! Stop hurting him!" Bella cries, running over to me.

"Bella, no. Don't." I choke, trying to get Jacob's hands from around my neck.

He squeezes tighter and I try to cough, the air getting stuck in my throat.

"_Him!?_ You're worried about _him!?_ What about _me_, Bella? Your fucking _boyfriend_!" Jacob screams, making Bella flinch slightly at his words.

"Let him go!" She yells smacking his square across the face, and continuing to try to smack at his back. He barely blinks as she makes her ministrations.

"Fuck you! Fuck you!" She sobs as she hits him.

He throws me to the ground, and I try to catch my breath, gagging and coughing as I clutch at my chest.

I hear Bella gurgling for air and quickly get up on my feet.

"Stop it, Jacob!" Rosalie screams. "Stop! You're hurting her!"

"Stay out of this, Rosalie!" He snarls at her, then turning his attention back to Bella. "Your best friend is a fucking whore! And she deserves every bit of pain. She's made me suffer for three fucking years! Three fucking years of my life wasted on this little bitch." He seethes at Bella.

He throws her against the wall and I jump at him and grab him by the neck, squeezing as hard as I can. "You will never fucking touch her again. Do you understand me?" I bellow in his face.

"Fuck. You." He chokes out.

"Do you...understand me?" I ask, my voice low and calculating.

"She's mine! She'll never be yours, Cullen!"

I let go of his neck and Bella steps up beside me. She lets out a humorless laugh. "You will never see me again, asshole. You tried to fucking kill me." She gets up in his face, Jacob still gasping for air. "I could have you arrested, and if you ever try to see me again, I _will _have you arrested."

I look over towards the hallway and Rosalie comes out of the back room with bags and bags of stuff. "I have all of your stuff, Bella. Let's go."

Bella looks over at me, her eyes shining with emotion, then nods to Rosalie.

I look at Jacob and throw in another punch for good measure. "If you ever try to hurt her again. I will not hesitate to _fuck your shit up_." I seethe.

I turn around, and quickly head down the stairs. Once I've gotten to the parking lot, I see Bella and Rosalie getting in a car and my chest tightens.

Is Bella mad at me? Will I ever see her again?

"Bella! Wait!" I yell after her, jogging to catch up with her.

She turns around and tears are streaming down her beautiful face. I close the distance between us, and brush the tears away.

"Don't cry, beautiful. Please." I whisper, trying to comfort her.

"I just..my life..is so fucked up." She sobs, throwing her arms around my waist, and burying her face in my neck.

"Everything will be alright. He won't hurt you again. I won't let him." I say soothingly, running my fingers through her hair.

"I just don't know about anything anymore. He's never acted like that.." She whimpers, another tear sliding down her cheek, soaking into my t-shirt.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Don't be, you helped me. Thank you." She whispers back, almost inaudibly.

I pull back and look in her eyes. The look in them almost brings me to my knees.

She's so beautiful, even at her worst.

"Will I...ever see you again?" I ask softly, looking back and forth between her eyes.

I've caused a big problem in her life, and I don't know if she'd ever want to see me again, even if I did save her life.

She lets out a strangled sob. "I don't know. I have to go, I'm sorry." She whispers, backing away and running to the car, where Rosalie is waiting holding her purse. I guess she went to my car to get it...

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><p><strong>*Don't forget to review! I really need you guys to review, and don't forget...I love each and every one of you who do read and review.*<strong>


	5. Letting Loose and Giving In

_Chapter 5- Letting Loose and Giving In_

**A/N: I added lyrics to the beginning of chapter 4, I think it fits well, I was going to put it at the beginning of this chapter, but these go better. Enjoy, and review ;)**

***Pics/banners/info for BD on my profile! Check it out***

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><p><em>'Cause we don't believe<br>That they're gonna get away from the summer  
>But you and I, will never die.<br>The world's still spinning around we don't know why,_

_Why, why, why. why-y-y._

_-Champagne Supernova, Oasis_

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Two weeks. It's been two weeks since I've seen or heard from Bella. She's been on my mind constantly, and I think I'm literally going insane. I have not been myself, at all. Even my best friend, Jasper, thinks I've been acting weird.

He just doesn't understand.

At the moment, Jasper and I are at my apartment drinking, smoking, and hanging out.

Nothing, and I mean _nothing_ gets my mind off of her. I could be high as a fucking kite, which I have been for the past two weeks, and still, she's all I think about. Even through the pain of getting my new tattoos on my arms a week ago, I thought of her.

"Dude. You need to stop, if she wanted to talk to you or see you she would have by now. Just chill out." Jasper tells me, giving me a knowing look.

I run my hand through my hair and take a deep breath.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I sigh, taking out my cigarettes and lighting one up.

He takes a hit from the bowl and hands it to me. Weed doesn't even calm me down. Something is seriously wrong.

"What is even so special about this chick? She seems like an average girl to me." He says, shrugging his shoulders.

I take a hit from the bowl while he pours us another shot. We throw back our shots and hold our shot glasses up, signaling the end of a round.

I grimace from the burn in my throat, and clank my glass down on the table. "Dude, I don't know. It's just really complicated." I sigh, and run my hand through my hair again.

"Dude, chill out. Seriously, you're going to get lung cancer and start losing hair if you keep it up." He laughs.

"Fuck you." I snarl.

He laughs even harder.

I ignore him, taking out my phone and deciding to text Rosalie.

_Hey, how is Bella?- Edward _

I take a deep breath and lean back on the couch.

"Dude, I'm gonna get going, take it easy. I'll call you in the morning." Jasper says, standing up and setting a brotherly arm on my shoulder.

"I'll call you later, man."

We're supposed to go fishing or some shit tomorrow morning.

Woo-hoo. Just what I love...waking up early.

Bleh.

My phone beeps and I get a little nervous, fumbling with it, and flip it open.

_Fine- Rosalie_

Wow.

_Not_ the answer I was looking for...

What answer _was_ I looking for?

God, I'm such a pussy. Maybe I should just ask Rosalie for Bella's number? Would I seem like a stalker?

Ugh. Whatever.

_Can I have her number?- Edward_

My phone beeps right back.

_Sure, it's 555-7437- Rosalie_

_Thanks.- Edward_

The excitement I have from getting Bella's number is completely pathetic, but the thought of getting to hear her voice again and possibly see her is...completely overwhelming.

I take out my stash and throw back three pills, swallowing them down with the tequila and lighting yet another cigarette.

I bite my bottom lip while contemplating on whether or not to call Bella.

An hour passes and I still haven't decided anything. I don't even know where she's staying...She could be living with fucking Jacob again, for all I know...

Goddammit. I'm calling her.

I pick up the phone and dial her number with shaky fingers. It rings twice, then goes straight to voice-mail.

_Fuck. _If I call again I would most definitely seem like a stalker. I'll just try again tomorrow.

A couple hours later, and I can't sleep because of a huge thunderstorm. I smoked half my bag of weed and have opened a second pack of cigarettes.

I'm sitting in my living room watching some stupid rerun of King of the Hill, when a knock on my door causes me to jump slightly.

It can't be Jasper, he hates driving in thunderstorms...and he's probably sleeping.

I look over at the clock on my wall. Midnight.

_Jasper is definitely sleeping._

I swing the door open. Who the fuck could it-

Bella.

A drenched Bella.

A beautiful, drenched Bella.

"Bella, are you alr-"

She cuts me off by throwing her around around my neck and placing a crushing kiss on my lips.

Everything around us melts away as her wet lips mold into mine. I snake my arms around her waist and crush her wet body to mine. I poke my tongue out and swipe it against her bottom lip, asking her for permission. Her response is eager, and our kisses are needy and passionate in a matter of seconds. I could drown in the vanilla taste of her mouth, but I need to know one thing first.

I pull away slightly. "Bella, what are you doing here?" I ask softly, searching her eyes. How'd she find out where I lived?

There's an unnatural glint in her eyes...She's either really high, really drunk, or both.

She puts her finger on my lips. "Shhh." She says with a playful smile.

I smile at her, loving how carefree she's being.

She closes my front door behind me, and I cock an eyebrow in question.

"Come with me," She whispers, grabbing my hand and pulling me along, my feet sloshing in the wet grass and mud from the thunderstorm, my pants quickly getting soaked and sticking to my legs.

"Where are we going?" I ask her, trying to keep up.

"Shhh." She says again, looking back at me with a huge grin.

We come to the apartments pool gate and she looks at me, the smile still on her lips.

Her smile is contagious, and I find myself smiling right back at her.

The fence is locked and the pool is closed, but I'm starting to get the idea she is having.

She lets go of my hand and throws one leg over the fence, and I, of course, ogle her ass as she does.

She looks back at me and raises her eyebrow, just as I snap out of the ass trance.

"You coming?" She asks sweetly, a knowing smile on her face.

_She liked it._

I laugh softly and follow her lead, hopping over the fence and into the pool area.

"What are we doing?" I ask her, she laughs and throws her backpack by the pools edge.

"We're having fun! That's what we're doing," She exclaims.

She begins taking off her shirt and pants, and I watch mesmerized as she peels off her sopping wet clothes. The way each new inch of exposed skin is revealed could make me come alone. My eyes rake up and down her body, my already unnaturally tight pants getting tighter.

She has tattoos.

_Hot._

God, they're fucking sexy as shit. Flowers, I think, that's what they look like at least, on her outer left thigh. I also notice a lotus flower on her lower back with intricate design on either side of it, and a bird, a swallow I'm guessing, on each side of her chest.

She rushes over to me, stopping in front of me and grinning at me mischievously. She slowly reaches out and fingers the hem of my t-shirt, gradually lifting her eyes to meet mine. The lust that shines in them makes me that much harder, and I swallow a whimper.

Her hand softly and slowly trails up my stomach, causing my muscles to ripple under her light touch. She pulls my shirt up and over my head, letting it fall to the ground carelessly. Her breath catches in her throat as she takes in my body, and I smile softly at her.

She runs her fingers lightly over my tattoo under my belly button, and smiles widely.

"Tri-force tattoo?" She asks.

"Wisdom, courage, and power," I whisper softly.

"What about this one?" She asks, tracing the flower of life on my chest.

"It's the flower of life. I got it three weeks ago, it has deep spiritual meaning." I explain quietly.

"I like that," She says gently, sliding her hand down my stomach to the button of my pants.

She gently unbuttons and unzips them, pulling them down past my hips with a seductive smile on her face.

The wood I'm sporting in my boxers is no secret, and she grins widely and chuckles.

"What's so funny?" I murmur with a grin, tracing the swell of her breast softly with my fingertip.

She takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out. "You're perfect," She mutters, kissing over my heart tenderly.

"You know what else is perfect?" I ask with a wicked grin, sliding my hands down her sides to the underside of her ass.

If she wants fun, she's gonna get it.

"What?" She asks, her face contorted adorably in confusion.

I pick her up, and she throws her legs around my waist, securing herself.

I quickly cross the two feet to the pool and jump in. We make a splash landing into the pool, resurfacing and laughing.

"Edward!" She cries in between her laughter.

I shake my hair out of my eyes, but it's no use since it's pouring rain. I grab her by the waist and pull her to me.

"Fun, huh?" I say softly, giving her a half smile.

She smiles wickedly. "Yeah, fun." She says, splashing water at my face and trying to get away. She gets about two feet away, but I swim underneath the water and grab at her feet. She twists her feet out of my grasp and leaps backwards, and away from me.

"Oh, no you don't." I say playfully.

I rush over to her, grab her by the waist, and lift her up in the air.

She giggles. "Nooo! Don't do it, don't do it!" She tries to pout, but fails miserably.

"Oh, yes." I retort, and throw her as far as I can into the deep end.

She lands a few feet away with a giant splash, making me laugh. She resurfaces and lets out a giant laugh, trying to get the water out of her nose.

Her laugh is music to my ears, I've never heard a sweeter noise in my life. The sound makes my chest ache, a good ache.

She swims towards the ladder, and I watch in confusion as she gets out.

"Oh, so no more fun?" I ask jokingly.

"Never said that," She says, holding her chin up high, walking over to where her backpack is and rummaging through it.

I swim over to the ladder and get out, shaking my hair once more, and wiping at my eyes.

I look over to where Bella is, and she's holding a bottle of alcohol.

"What's that?" I ask, still trying to wipe my eyes.

"Whiskey," She says simply.

She grabs her backpack and slings it over her shoulder.

"Come on!" She yells, running towards the gate.

What about our clothes? Are we just going to leave them there?

In the spur of the moment, I leave them and run after her, jumping the gate behind her. We run about forty feet or so, near the edge of the forest, and she dumps her backpack under a tree.

I set my hands on my knees, and catch my breath. "You're fast." I breathe.

"Oh, that was nothing," She giggles. "Come, sit with me." She pats the wet grass next to her.

She takes giant gulps from the bottle, and holds it out to me.

She's a champ at drinking, didn't even make an 'ugly face', if she even has one.

"You know, we can go inside my apartment. Where's it's dry, and not raining..." I offer quietly.

Although, I _am_ enjoying the view.

Water droplets cascading down her collarbone, in between the swell of her breasts. I want to lean over and lick them off, but I refrain.

She laughs softly, a sweet honey sound. "Where's the fun in that?" She asks.

I grab the bottle from her and take a couple gulps. "Very true." I breathe, grimacing at the taste.

I hand the bottle back to her and she takes a couple more swigs.

Jesus, this girl can drink.

She sets the bottle down next to her and takes a look around the complex.

"You have a very beautiful apartment complex." She says, nodding thoughtfully.

I laugh softly. "Never thought of it that way."

When I do actually tear my eyes away from Bella's body and look around, it is quite beautiful.

She stands up quickly, and runs a couple feet away.

I laugh loudly, quickly jumping to my feet. "What _are_ you doing?" I ask, perplexed.

"You really need to stop asking questions." She giggles.

She runs full speed then slides feet first down a long puddle of mud, squealing adorably the whole way.

_She did not just do that._

She giggles uncontrollably, rolling around near the end of the mud puddle.

I quickly follow, sliding head first on my stomach, the slimy mud carrying me fast to where she is.

I crash into her and she laughs loudly, kicking her feet around like a child.

"You looked...so...silly..." She says in between bellowing laughter.

I grab a hold of her and pull her on top of me, the mud making a nasty 'splat' sound.

Even with the mud, our chest to chest contact feels electrifying, my heart beat immediately accelerating.

I could stay in this position forever and be a happy fucking man.

We stare into each other's eyes for a long awhile, just soaking each other in, memorizing every feature on each other's face.

Her eyes are the prettiest I've ever seen. Some people say brown eyes are the ugliest, but I couldn't disagree more. Hers are so fucking beautiful it takes my breath away.

Specs of gold swimming in a glorious milk chocolate, filled with emotion.

She lowers her nose so it touches mine, and giggles adorably.

I crush my mouth to hers, and the second our lips touch, my whole body warms from the inside out, my chest exploding with extreme emotion.

I pull away slightly, trying to catch my breath.

"You are so fucking beautiful," I mumble onto her lips.

She slowly lowers her mouth onto mine, the slow pace causing my heart to skip a beat in anticipation. Her lips sweetly capture my own in a heartfelt kiss, and I tightly wrap my arms around her, the feelings she's igniting in me so much that I feel the need to hold onto her for support.

She moans, the sound muffled from our kiss, and a shiver runs through her body.

I groan, squeezing her tighter and opening my mouth to deepen the kiss. She eagerly obliges, and the feeling of her tongue against mine is like nothing I've ever fucking felt before.

My stomach drops in the most exciting way, almost like I'm on a roller coaster, and I squeeze her even tighter.

_I think I'm falling for this girl._

I pull away and start kissing down her jaw line and to her neck. She lets out the cutest and sexiest of whimpers and my head starts spinning.

I flip us over so I'm on top of her, and start kissing her neck again.

Her skin on my tongue is like silk, and tastes like heaven.

I move down her neck and to her collarbone, trying to avoid most of the mud, until I reach the swell of her breasts.

I grab hold of the cup of her bra, and look up into her eyes for permission.

"Please..." She whimpers softly.

I let out a small groan, scooting my body down and over to the side, sliding the cup over for better access.

I take the peak of her nipple into my mouth and suck lightly, eliciting a small moan from her.

I'm so hard, my dick actually hurts...a good fucking hurt.

Bella lifts up off the ground slowly and unhooks her bra, letting it fall on the ground beside her.

_Holy. Fucking. Jesus._

She just keeps getting more and more beautiful.

She's even beautiful wet, and covered in mud.

"Holy shit, Bella." I groan, taking her nipple back in my mouth, circling my tongue around it.

Her hands find their way into my hair and tug, holding me against her. I groan loudly, moving to the other nipple and giving it equal treatment.

"Oh, god..." She breaths, arching her back.

I slide my hand down her stomach, and play with the hem of her thong.

"Please, Edward..." She whimpers, reaching out to grab my hand and pushing it underneath the fabric. "Oh, God, please,"

My fingers quickly find a tiny patch of hair just above her clit and I moan loudly, throwing my head back.

Holy fuck.

She's so fucking wet.

I slide my fingers up and down her slit, spreading her thick wetness and making her moan.

"More...please, Edward..."

I insert a finger, making her buck her hips into my hand, and cry out softly.

I look into her eyes while I pump slowly in and out of her. "Jesus, Bella. You're so wet for me." I mumble, bringing my lips back to her neck and planting wet open mouthed kisses wherever my mouth can reach.

Bella's moans are the most perfect sounds I've ever heard in my life.

I have never heard anything sweeter, they make my chest swell with a foreign emotion.

I insert another finger and watch as her face contorts with pleasure.

"Fuck!" She screams, writhing beneath me. "So good...so...good..." She mumbles softly.

I pump in and out of her faster, and bring my thumb up to her clit.

I rub slow, firm circles around her clit, still trailing kisses down her neck and around her collarbone.

"Come for me, Bella," I whisper onto her wet skin.

"Oh, fuck!" She whimpers, her legs tightening around my hand, locking it in place.

I continue to rub at her clit while her internal walls clamp down on my fingers.

"That's it, Bella." I groan, trying not to come with her.

One final loud moan, and Bella's walls quake with the force of her orgasm.

I take my fingers from within her and watch as she tries to catch her breath, a smug smile on my face.

As soon as her breathing slows, her hand comes up and grabs at my dick.

I groan loudly, setting my hand on top of hers.

"I want you..." She whispers.

Fuck, that's so sexy.

She quickly grabs the hem of my boxers and slides them down. I lift up and slide them the rest of the way off, then position myself above her.

I stare into her eyes, silently asking if she's sure. She nods her head minutely and guides me to her opening with shaky hands. I slide myself in slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers.

I let out a grunt deep within my chest, and slowly start to pump in and out of her. The feeling of her warmth surrounding me making my head fuzzy and disoriented.

_I want to stay buried inside of her forever._

"Oh my God, Edward..." She breathes. "You feel so good inside of me..."

The rain water slides down my forehead and onto her face, making her close her eyes in the cutest way. She grips my shoulders tightly, her nails digging into my skin.

I pick up a faster pace, running my hand down her side and gripping at her hip. I slide my hand back up her side, and grab her boob softly, teasing the nipple. She shudders beneath me and lets out a small moan, bringing her legs up and wrapping them around my lower back.

I bring my hand up, using my thumb to pull on her chin under her bottom lip. She gives into me, letting her mouth drop open in a sexy 'o' shape, her lips glistening with rain water.

She opens her eyes slowly, her eyes hooded and lustful.

She pokes her tongue out and brings my thumb into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it.

"Holy fuck, Bella," I groan loudly, trying to keep my rhythm.

It's no use. I can't.

I start swiveling my hips frantically, using my pelvic bone to rub against her clit. I have to make her cum once more before I finish.

"Come, beautiful," I groan, pounding harder against her clit.

She shudders, throwing her head back and moaning loudly.

Her walls clamp around my cock, causing me to shiver violently. I'm so fucking close.

I can't hold it anymore.

"Bella, I'm..." I trail off, feeling my stomach muscles clench.

I try to pull out, but she locks her legs firmly behind my back.

She brings her mouth up to my ear. "I want you to come inside of me," She whispers sexily, efficiently being my undoing.

She lowers her mouth to my neck and sucks.

My eyes roll into the back of my head, and I crush her to me tighter.

"Oh, fuck...fuck..." I moan, feeling my dick squirt repeatedly inside of her warmth.

As I ride the last of my orgasm out, she brings her lips to my ear.

"You are so fucking beautiful," She whispers, making my whole body shudder.

I collapse on top of her in an uncoordinated heap, kissing her neck and face where I can reach. She sighs contently and I roll off to the side, bringing her with me, cuddling her into my side.

The rain has mostly stopped, leaving a light mist in it's wake.

As I lay with this beautiful girl tucked into my side, wet, muddy, and amazing, I couldn't be fucking happier.

I glide my hand through her hair, moving it out of her face, and kiss the top of her head.

I lay my head back and close my eyes, relaying the events of the past couple hours...how Jasper came over and we got inebriated, Bella showing up soaking wet and our first kiss...the pool...

...

I open my eyes to sunshine and a slight chill in the air. I look around frantically for any sign of Bella.

None.

She left me.

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><p><strong>Don't hate me! I love you! ^_^<strong>

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to review! 3**

**-Cassie**


	6. Reflection

_Chapter 6-Reflection_

***A/N: I'm sure you guys are just lovin' all the updates in such little time! I've been writing my butt off. Please review!***

**A special thanks to the amazingly wonderful ShellyBelles24 for helping me edit this chapter and for all the help she's given me!**

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><p><em>In my time I've melted into many forms,<br>From the day that I was born._

_I know that there's no place to hide,  
>Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light.<br>I was broken, For a long time, but It's over now. _

_-I Was Broken, Marcus Foster_

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I left him. I fucking left him! What the fuck is wrong with me?

Wait, I know what's wrong with me. I'm an idiot.

I had the most amazing night of my life with Edward, and then I leave him before he wakes up.

And to add insult to injury, I left him near the entrance of the forest, naked.

At least I had a little decency in me to lay his clothes over his dick, just in case someone found him.

He probably doubted last night to be real...It surely felt like a dream to me.

All the feelings I had for Edward intensified last night.

How can one man be so _beautiful_?

The way he looked into my eyes felt like he was looking into my heart and soul.

It was so raw, and natural.

Almost chilling, but at the same time it warmed me.

Does he _know_ the power he has over me?

It surely doesn't seem that way.

My intentions for going to his apartment were to just let loose, let go of some steam and have fun, and he couldn't have been a better person to do that with.

Surely, we were both fucked up out of our minds, but that's me, and that's him.

And it just _works._

We were in complete sync with each other last night, just how I thought we would be.

I had been itching to feel his lips on mine for_ two weeks_. To feel his arms around me. To just to be in his presence. Two whole weeks I hadn't gotten his number or called him.

I thought the feelings I had would just vanish, but boy, I was wrong.

_Very fucking wrong._

I even went behind Rosalie's back, getting directions to his apartment from a very fucked up Emmett while she was sleeping.

She would have wanted to know why, and _I_ don't even fully know the reasons for my actions last night, or my feelings.

What I do know is that Edward has me completely captivated.

Our sex was not just sex, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.

It wasn't forced. It wasn't emotionless.

It was _effortless_.

It changed me. _He _changed me.

The moment our bodies connected, something inside me connected too.

Something that was broken, but it's not anymore.

_He_ fixed it.

I quickly pull into the next abandoned parking lot, to calm myself and give myself another shoot. I take all my equipment out and assemble everything I need to shoot up twenty-five milligrams.

I crush up the pills on the spoon, and melt it into liquid.

I get excited watching the liquid heaven suck up into the syringe. The liquid that makes everything better. Easier.

Tying the tourniquet around my arm and lining up the needle, I take a deep breath and shoot it up my arm. I instantly feel warmth spread through my body, carefully taking the needle out of my arm and the tourniquet off.

The warmth in my veins is nothing compared to the warmth Edward gave me just from a simple touch.

I lay my head back, trying to decide the right thing to do.

I have been staying with Rosalie since the Jacob thing. It's my only option.

I haven't made it there yet, and I'm half way in between Rosalie's and Edward's.

Should I turn back?

Would he understand why I left?

Is he even awake yet?

Either way, since it's light out, Rosalie is probably up and she'd want to know where I am.

Fuck...

I pack my things back up and make a giant u-turn.

I pull into the parking lot and park my car, checking over by the woods to see if Edward is still there.

He's not.

Shit...

What am I going to say to him?

Just...don't screw this up, Bella.

I walk slowly up to his door, hesitating a little before softly knocking on his door.

"What the fuck, Jasper! I said no, alread-" The door swings open, and Edward is standing there, in only jeans.

Very, very low cut jeans.

Mmmm..._fuck_. He looks even better in the daylight.

I snap out of my trance, shaking my head slightly at myself for openly ogling his gorgeous body.

Say something, Bella! Quit drooling over him and say something!

I look into Edwards eyes, and the emotion isn't at all what I expected.

Happiness.

He even looks relieved.

"I...um...fuck...I'm sorry I left...I..." I ramble softly, avoiding eye contact, but Edward pulls me into his arms tightly.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, and allow the warmth overtake me.

He pulls back with a big smile is on his face. I smile back involuntarily, and embrace him once more.

"I really am sorry I left you like that..." I mumble into his bare chest.

"It's okay, you're here now." He whispers into my hair.

I pull away a little. "Can I...come in?"

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><p><strong>This chapter was re-edited as of 318/2013- Hope you liked it! **

**Don't forget to review, loves! **

**-Cassie**


	7. Freaking Out and Flying High

_Chapter 7- Freaking out and Flying High_

**This one is long! From here on out the chapters will most likely be longer, like this one, as well as longer sentences. I hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review! I love you all! :) See you at the bottom! *Banners/pics/info on this story is on my profile! Check it out!***

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><p><em>Stay with me, here with me<em>

_Right in this instance, not in the distance_

_When your head is off in future time_

_That's the place when things get out of line_

_Taking in this moment your time is so well spent_

_-Uplifter, 311_

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

She fucking came back.

Sure, waking up alone was a horrible feeling, but, actually, I had just gotten in the house and changed clothes, so she wasn't even gone that long. Also, I think it would be impossible for me to be mad at her. All I have to do is look at her and my heart swells with happiness. All the worries and tension left my body the moment I saw her standing in my doorway, and took her into my arms, _and_ she apologized, that was really cute.

"Can I...come in?" She asks, her beautiful eyes boring into mine, her plump bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"Uh, yeah, sure...I'm supposed to go fishing with Jasper in like, an hour or two, though..." I ramble.

If I could ditch Jasper, I totally would, but, it's a tradition and he'd make my life a living hell if I did.

"Oh, okay...I can...go..." She nods her head towards her car, then takes a step back.

"No! I mean...please stay..." I say nervously, looking down at my feet and digging my toe into the carpet.

I run a hand through my hair to calm my nerves and look back up. A small smile plays on her lips.

"Okay," She says softly, her hands rung together tightly.

I grin widely and lead her inside, onto the couch.

"Would you...uh...like something to drink?" I ask, swallowing hard, my nerves acting up again.

Why am I so nervous around her? We weren't last night? I wasn't five seconds ago?

"Okay, sure," She says softly, looking around at my apartment.

"What would you like? I have soda...and I'm sorry my apartment is so messy.." I say, feeling embarrassed that my apartment looks like a tornado ripped through it.

"Soda is fine..." She breathes, crossing her legs.

I practically sprint to the refrigerator, quickly grabbing two Cokes out of the fridge, and pulling my stash out of the cabinet. I quickly take three of my Vicodin, since I forgot to take them when I came back inside, and run back into the living room.

In the time it took me to do all of this, I thought of ways to keep her around today, and finally come up with some sort of plan.

I sit down on the couch next to her, leaning my body towards hers.

I run my hand through my hair again, finally looking up at her. "You could...come with us? Fishing, I mean... " I ask in a hopeful tone.

She swallows thickly. "I don't know-I've never-"

"I can show you?" I blurt out.

"I don't know," She whispers, staring down at her Coke can like it's the most interesting thing in the world.

"It could be fun," I say with a small smirk. "Usually it's really boring with just me and Jasper. Please?" I beg, pleading with my eyes.

She laughs softly and looks up at me. "Okay, but only if you beg some more," She looks back down at her Coke can. "You're really cute when you beg." She whispers softly.

She scoots closer to me, and my heart rate skyrockets.

I bring my hand up to my hair and tug.

What's gotten into me? I was hugging her in my doorway not even five minutes ago.

She sets her hand on my thigh, causing a shudder to run through me.

"Relax," She says with a small smile.

She gets up and sits down on my lap facing me, straddling my hips. I bite back a moan when I feel her heat rub against me, and set my hands on her hips. My hands fit perfectly on her hips, like they were meant to hold her there.

"Better?" She asks, smiling, setting her forehead against my shoulder.

I squeeze her hips softly. "Much."

I bring my mouth to her ear. "So...you'll come? Pretty please?" I whisper, trailing my nose along her jaw line.

She giggles softly. "Yes." She breathes, running her hands up my bare sides.

"Mmm, yay," I hum softly, slipping my hands underneath her shirt and feeling the silky skin there.

"I always have to try everything once." She says seriously, sliding her hands up my chest, fingering the light dusting of chest hair on my sternum softly.

God, her hands feel like heaven on me.

"Oh really?" I whisper, smirking to myself.

"Yeah," She whispers back softly, her lips caressing my neck.

I moan softly and my grip on her hips tighten, making her whimper.

"I need you, Edward," She moans, grinding into my now impossibly hard cock.

I slide my hand up and grab her breast, quickly noting she has no bra on, before kneading her nipple gently in my fingers, causing her to buck above me.

"I've never wanted someone_ so_ much in my entire life," She breaths into my ear, her voice low and seductive.

My heart practically leaps out of my chest at her words. Knowing she wants me just as much as I want her is the biggest turn on.

I quickly leave open mouthed kisses anywhere I can reach.

"I need you, too," I manage to croak out, before slowly lifting the hem of her shirt up, her arms rising to let me take it all the way off of her. I throw it across the room and attach my lips to hers before the shirt even hits the floor.

Her hands slide into my hair, grabbing fistfuls and tugging softly. I moan into her mouth, flicking my tongue against hers and grabbing handfuls of her ass.

I pull away slowly and look into her eyes. "Is it pathetic that I've missed this?" I ask, slightly embarrassed because we did this only a few hours ago.

"No," She says quickly before re-attaching her mouth to mine.

She hums onto my lips as I bring my hand up and grab her breast, the other hand guiding her hips back and forth above me.

God, I need her _now_.

I pick her up by her waist and lay her down on the couch, laying on her back. I pause as I watch her looking up at me, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, hair astray, and a beautiful rose color tinting her cheeks.

_Fuck, she gets more beautiful every goddamn second, I swear._

Still with a light layer of dirt on her. I smile brightly at the memory of last night, and she smiles back, seemingly reading my mind.

I bend down, trailing kisses along her stomach, my hands gliding up and down her thighs.

"You're," Kiss. "So," Kiss. "Fucking," Kiss. "Beautiful," Kiss. "_Fuck_." Kiss.

She throws her head back, a loud moan escaping her, her hands flying to my hair.

"Please..." She whimpers, scraping her nails across my scalp.

I whimper softly, quickly reaching down and fumbling with the button and fly on her jeans. I rip them down her legs and off her feet, throwing them on the floor near the couch. I repeat with her thong and kiss a trail up her thigh until I feel the heat of her arousal near my mouth.

I look up into her eyes before latching my mouth onto her pussy and flicking my tongue wildly. She bucks her hips and moans loudly, her hands in my hair tightening with each flick.

"Edward!" She screams, bucking her hips up and down.

I moan against her, loving the taste of her and the sound of my name on her lips.

Tiny whimpers and moans are escaping her, her breath coming out in short pants.

"Oh, God, Edward, I'm so..." She moans.

I quickly insert two fingers into her, pumping them in and out hard and fast, and adding more pressure with each flick of my tongue. She roars with pleasure and I feel her walls clench around my fingers, before her legs begin to tremble and my name falls from her lips in a chant. I moan and smile against her as I feel the last of her orgasm pan out, pulling my fingers out of her and crawling up her body to mold my lips to hers.

"Mmm, I taste good," She mumbles against my lips, making me smile.

"God, yes," I chuckle, trailing my lips across her jaw and down her neck.

I nip at her collarbone and she whimpers and snakes her hand down my chest to the waistband of my pants.

"I need you inside of me, Edward," She whimpers, unbuttoning my pants and pushing them down my thighs. "You're too far away."

I kick them the rest of the way off, along with my boxers and line my cock up with her entrance.

"God, I know, I can't fucking get close enough," I growl, bringing my face to the crook of her neck, planting tiny fluttering kisses.

I moan softly from the heat and wetness of her, sliding my cock up and down her slit to tease her. She mewls and throws her head back, one hand gripping my hip tightly and the other clutching the hair at the nape of my neck. I run my hands slowly up her stomach, before bending down and taking a nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue and sucking gently.

"_Ugh_, fuck," She cries out, bucking her hips into mine, causing a violent shudder to rip through me.

Before I can really register, she's grabbed my ass and slammed me into her, causing us both to cry out.

I still inside of her, letting my brain catch up with the rest of me, before slowly moving in and out of her. I throw my head back into the crook of her neck, breathing her in.

"Bella," I moan, the feeling of being inside of her almost too much. It's like a cleansing of the soul.

Emotions building up and swirling inside my chest. Last night was amazing, but this...this feeling is something I will never tire of.

I grip her hip tightly, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses up and down her neck. The sounds and moans that she's making make my head spin. Knowing that I caused them is like music to my fucking ears. The feeling of our chests smashed together, skin on skin, will forever be etched into my memory. The taste of her, her delicious arousal on my tongue is my savior and I am the damned.

I trail kisses up her neck and across her jaw, sewing our mouths together, tasting the sweetness of her mouth. I slow my pace, wanting to feel every inch of her slowly. Her moans and whimpers muffled behind our fused mouths.

I lick along her bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth, and her awaiting tongue pokes out and tangles with mine, the taste of vanilla and pure Bella tickling my taste buds.

My entire body is in a sensory overload, she's everywhere. She's all around me. Inside of me.

But, she'll never be close enough. I want to crawl inside of her and live there forever.

Our bodies fit together like a puzzle piece, each a missing link for the other. Each dip and crevice of her body is filled with my own.

I break our mouths apart, only to lick a trail down her collarbone and chest, savoring the taste of her skin until I reach the dip between her breasts. She shudders and writhes beneath me, mumbling my name almost incoherently.

Her body is perfect, absolutely fucking perfect. It's everything I've ever wanted, and more.

I slowly suck her pert nipple into my mouth, moaning softly around it. She cries out, her hands finding purchase in my hair, pulling softly. She throws her head back against the throw pillow, arching her chest further into my mouth.

"Edward! _Ugh_, so...good..." She whimpers loudly.

I switch to the other breast, giving it equal attention before moving back up and re-fusing my mouth with hers. I slide my hand down the plains and bumps of her body, slowly memorizing them, like a blind man reading braille.

"You feel so good, Edward," She whispers against my lips, sliding her hand from my hair and slowly caressing the apple of my cheek with her fingertips.

"Like heaven," I mumble back, sliding my hand down past her hip, grabbing her thigh and hooking it up higher on my waist.

I moan into her mouth loudly at the new angle created, delving deeper into her with every push and pull. I feel the coils in my body winding tighter and tighter, my impending orgasm approaching fast.

"Come with me," I whisper against her lips, already feeling the tremors from her beginning orgasm.

The feeling in my chest erupts in a fiery passion never known to me before, the emotion spilling out of me in waves.

"Oh, God, Edward!" She screams, breaking away from me and latching her mouth onto my neck, licking and sucking hard.

"Fuck!" I scream as I feel her pussy clamp down on my cock. "Bella!" I choke out, pulling her tight against me as she milks me of everything I have.

"Edward," She moans softly as I spill the last of my cum inside of her.

We both still as we try and catch our breath, our bodies shaking and our hearts beating in tandem with one another. I lift up off of her slowly, looking down into her eyes with adoration and happiness.

Her cheeks are wet, the emotion having erupted out of her the same way it had me. I tenderly wipe her cheeks with the back of my knuckles and she chuckles softly, reaching up and wiping my cheeks.

I didn't notice actual tears, but I guess that I did cry. As much as I should feel ashamed for crying, because guys are supposed to be strong, I don't.

We shared something beautiful, something heart warming, and I wouldn't change a thing.

We lay with each other for what feels like hours, just holding each other and sharing soft smiles, when a abrupt knock on the door breaks us out of our little bubble.

It must be Jasper, I totally forgot about fishing...

I hurry and get off Bella, handing her clothes to her and quickly finding my pants and grabbing a shirt out of my clean clothes hamper, shoving them on. I wait while she gets dressed, before turning to the offensive knocking.

"Coming, Jasper! Fuck! Can't you be patient?" I yell as I walk towards the door, opening it to find Jasper with an amused smile on his face.

"What the fuck were you doing, dude? Jacking off? And where the hell is your phone? I've been trying to call your stupid a-" He walks a few steps in the door and notices Bella standing behind me. "Oh! Uh...hi. I'm Jasper. You must be Bella." He chuckles, walking over and pulling her into a big bear hug.

"Oh...hi...yeah," She replies, giggling softly. "Nice to meet you."

He finally releases her and looks over at me. "Is she coming with us?" He asks, smiling and looking between the both of us.

"Yeah, hope you don't mind. I just have to get my shoes on." I answer, walking over to the couch and putting them on.

"Not at all! Come on, this is gonna be so much fun!" He yells, looking like an excited five year old.

Once we're all ready to go, we head to Lake Chesterfield. We take Jasper's car, because my car is filled with my guitar and equipment for tonight's show.

I want to ask Bella to come to my gig tonight, but I have no idea how or when to ask her. I'm really nervous about it. What if she can't go? What if she doesn't even want to? What if she thinks I suck?

Before I know it, we're parked at the lake, and Jasper is out of the car and getting the the fishing stuff out of the trunk.

"Jasper, are you good with setting everything up by yourself?" I yell quietly to the back of the car.

"Yeah, man, why?" He asks, clearly confused.

"Bella and I are going for a walk," I say, hoping he understands that I need some time alone to ask her.

"Alright..." He says, not catching on.

He was never the brightest crayon in the box.

I turn to Bella and hold out my hand for her to take. She takes my hand and links our fingers together, and I pull us out of the car and start down the trail. I walk far enough to be out of ear shot from Jasper before I speak.

"I have no idea how to ask this..." I start, playing with a loose thread on the hem of my Led Zeppelin t-shirt with my free hand.

"Ask me what?" She asks, smiling.

"Well, I'm kind of...playing a gig tonight at 2720 Cherokee St. and I was wondering...if you'd...want to...come..?" I ask, my nerves acting up. I run a hand through my hair and tug.

I look over and her eyes light up. "Edward, I didn't know you played gigs! That's so cool!" She laughs, squeezing our linked fingers. "But, I'm not sure if I can go..." She looks up into my eyes. "I promise to try my best to make it."

"Oh," I say, my voice dripping with disappointment. "Well, It's free for you and whoever you bring. Just say you're Bella, they won't charge you."

She smiles widely, and I can't help but smile back.

"I bet you play beautifully," She says, a serious look on her face.

"Well, I don't want to brag, but..." I laugh, making her face light up with giggles.

"So um...I hate to ruin the mood but I really need...uh..." She taps her arm, signaling 'shoot'.

"Oh! Um...okay...wanna sit down?" I ask gently, making sure she's comfortable.

I know what it's like to have an addiction...

I pat the pockets of my jeans, looking for my pills. Nothing.

Shit!

I forgot my stash...

I don't want to shoot it up, though...

Shit. Shit. Shit.

We walk over to a shady area off the trail where no one will see us, and I sit first. I pull her down in between my legs, snaking my arms around her, and she smiles back at me. I watch as she gets all her stuff ready, a small lump in my throat and a rock in my stomach.

"Um...would...you mind if I had some?" I ask softly, embarrassed. "I left my stash at home...If not, that's okay."

I told myself I'd never shoot up. I guess I don't _have_ to...It wouldn't hurt to try it...

She looks back at me, confusion lacing her features. "Are you sure? I thought you only took them orally?" She asks softly.

I close my eyes and nod my head yes.

"You've never...?" She whispers, her hand reaching up and brushing the stray hairs off my forehead.

I smile softly at the gesture, but I'm actually freaking the fuck out.

Taking pills orally and shooting them up are two completely different things.

They are two completely different _highs_.

Shooting up Vicodin is one of the most dangerous drugs to shoot up.

Mostly because it's combined with other stuff, such as acetaminophen, otherwise known as Tylenol.

You have to extract the Tylenol out with cold water and make the Vicodin a liquid before shooting it up. There's a very big risk of the Vicodin clumping in your veins, and if that reaches your heart...you die instantly.

I shake my head no lightly, and open my eyes.

She gathers all the stuff, and looks back at me.

"How much do you want?"

"How ever much you want to give me." I say, managing a small smile.

"Is thirty alright?" She asks softly, apprehension and worry evident in her tone.

I lay my chin on her shoulder and let out a small sigh, nodding my head slowly.

"Can I do it?" She asks softly, holding up the ripped t-shirt and needle.

"Okay," I murmur, taking three lungfuls of air before minutely nodding my head for her to do it.

She scoots into a more comfortable position, and ties the t-shirt around my bicep with shaky hands. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before searching the crease of my elbow for a good vein.

The rock has returned to my stomach, and my heart is now trying to escape my chest.

She finds a vein quickly, and ever so slowly, slides the needle in my arms and injects the liquid into my bloodstream.

The feeling of floating is instantaneous. The air around me warm and soft like a blanket snuggling me. The rock in my stomach, gone. My heartbeat, slow and steady. No worries, no fears, no sadness, no pain, no regrets, not a care in the fucking world.

I hear Bella heave out a happy sigh as she leans back against my chest and I smile so wide I think my cheeks might break.

"God, this feels fucking amazing," I laugh, snaking my arms around her waist, hugging her to me like a big giant teddy bear. "I've been missing out," I murmur into her hair, my fingers sliding under the hem of her t-shirt, feeling the silky skin on her stomach. "Jesus, you're soft," I whisper, sliding my hands around, exploring every inch of skin I can touch.

She giggles loudly, throwing her head back onto my shoulder before letting out another sigh. "You're so cute, Edward,"

"Me? _Cute_? Pfft, no, you're the cute one, Bella." I say jokingly, flipping her onto her back in the grass softly, tickling her sides and making her squeal and laugh loudly.

"Edward! Stop!...Can't...breathe...hehe," She mumbles incoherently, trying to wiggle and roll out of my tickle-hold.

"What? What'd you say? 'Don't stop'?" I ask in between chuckles, moving to straddle her legs, effectively trapping her beneath me.

"Edward! Edwaaard!" She squeals, thrashing wildly beneath me.

She suddenly stops moving and becomes silent, emotion void on her face, but her eyes are still smiling.

She gets an amused smile on her face before she brings her hands to my thighs and squeezes, causing me to fly off her in a fit of laughter.

She found my most ticklish spot.

Before I can register what's happening, she's on her feet and taking off down the trail, giggling the entire time.

I fly up and start after her, on her tail in seconds. She suddenly stops to look back at me, and I crash right into her back, making us fall into the grass right off the trail with giant 'oomphs'.

We roll over onto our backs, laughing and trying to catch our breath. We look over at one another at the same exact moment, the looks on our faces causing us to break into another fit of laughter until we can't take it anymore, our stomachs aching and our cheeks hurting.

I roll to hover over her, staring into the chocolate pools that have me drowning in them.

She smiles softly at me before I lean down slowly, fusing our lips together in a open mouthed kiss. I suck in her bottom lip, releasing it with a pop, a moan escaping me at the vanilla-raspberry taste that is purely Bella.

She pulls back slightly and grins at me before trailing kisses along my jaw and nipping at my chin.

I smile at her, and kiss her temple lovingly before bringing my lips to her ear. "You're amazing, do you know that?" I whisper softly, blowing on the shell of her ear.

She shudders and giggles. "No..." She breathes almost inaudibly.

"You ready to catch some fish?" I joke, tickling her softly.

She laughs and nods her head. "Yeah, let's go."

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><p><strong>Well, that's that! Don't get too mad at me! You knew he'd try it eventually! Don't forget to review! Love you guys!<strong>

**-Cassie**


	8. Deception

_Chapter 8_- _Deception  
><em>

**A/N: ****I've been in a bad place lately so sorry the story is not coming along as I, and some of you, wish it would. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! They make me smile and I need some of those.**

**I'm also going to start going through previous chapters to fix and edit spelling/grammar errors.**

***Banners/Pics/Info about this fic on my profile!***

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><p><em>Oh I'm not too sure if I can do this on my own guys<em>  
><em>Like I'm thinking maybe we should form a support group<em>  
><em>Or perhaps a church-sponsored youth group<em>

_Oh and then and then I say_  
><em>I looked the other way<em>  
><em>I changed my point of view<em>  
><em>And here's what I do<em>  
><em>One time, fuck it up<em>

_This too shall pass_  
><em>This too shall pass<em>  
><em>This too shall pass<em>  
><em>This…<em>  
><em>All the good times, all the bad times<em>  
><em>Face it bro, they all will pass<em>

_-This Too Shall Pass, 311_

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"Where the fuck are you!" Rose screeches into the phone. I cringe at her tone, and shrink down into the grass, sitting cross-legged with my back up against the tree behind me.

We've only been here for about an hour, but I knew Rose would start calling me eventually, and, she did. Fifteen times. So, finally, I couldn't take it anymore and excused myself to take her call.

I can see Edward and Jasper from where I'm sitting. They're laughing and joking around, and it's heart-warming to watch. With the scenery, it's almost post-card worthy. The lake is beautiful. In front of them the sky is a beautiful vibrant hue of blue with no clouds hindering sunshine, a _very_ rare occurrence in the rainy town of Forks, Washington. The trees swaying in the light breeze, the temperature in the high sixties.

It's a beautiful July day, seriously.

It's nice to see Edward and Jasper like this, Rosalie and I have that sort of bond. From the day we met, we were inseparable. She's been there through everything, the good and the bad, and trust me I've been through enough bad for the both of us combined. That's what I love about Rosalie. She's a fiercely loyal friend. I met her right after my mother died from breast cancer when I was 11 and I was forced to come live with my estranged uncle Charlie. My father having died when I was too young to remember. She never judged me. She protected me, when everyone else at school shunned me as "the weird quiet girl". She'd cover my ass when Social Services would come to school, trying to talk to me about my injuries, and lying to everyone and just saying I'm clumsy. Which, I am, but not _that_ bad. Charlie had a bit of an...anger problem. Okay, a big anger problem. I swear, I'm not a heartless bitch, but I'm glad that piece of shit died. He got what he deserved, but not even Rosalie knows everything about Charlie and I's...relationship, or whatever-the-fuck it was. She would have killed him, literally, and I need Rosalie. I wish I could tell her everything that happened, and maybe I could now that he's not around to hurt me anymore. I just don't have it in me to talk about it.

"Hello? Bella?" Rosalie snaps.

"I'm...at the lake," I respond sadly, picking at the grass and throwing it like confetti. She knows I'm trying to be evasive, and I can just hear her anger bubbling up.

I prepare for impact.

"Who are you at the lake with, and why? Do you know how worried I've been, Bella? I've been worried sick! I thought something happened to you! I wake up and you're not here and your car is gone and," She pauses with a heavy sigh, and a frustrated noise escapes her. "I thought maybe Jacob..." She whispers shakily.

"Rose, I'm sorry, I...I'm sorry. I should have told you." I mutter quietly into the phone. "I didn't mean to make you worry. I love you. I just...it was a spur of the moment thing and I just wanted to see Edward. I don't know what's gotten into me. I'll come home soon. Okay?"

"You're with Edward?" She asks incredulously. "Emmett ratted you out and said you left last night but wouldn't say to where..."

"Damn Emmett," I huff. I should have known better than to trust Emmett, he's a sucker when it comes to Rosalie.

A minute of silence passes through the phone, and I wonder what she's thinking about, or if she hung up. "Rosalie? You still there?"

"Yeah...I...Bella, I have something to tell you." She whispers, her voice full of regret.

"What is it?" I ask, confused.

"We'll talk when you get home. I have to go. I love you, Bella." She says in a rush, the line going dead.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair. This can't be good. She obviously regrets doing something.

I wonder if it's about how she knew Edward before.

I'm not liking this.

Has she slept with him? No...she's with Emmett. She wouldn't do that to Emmett. She's crazy about him.

They were having problems awhile back but I still don't think Rosalie is capable of cheating.

I mean, we mess around with each other but that's completely different.

I guess we'll see.

I sigh again and get up on my feet, dusting the grass off my jeans and walking back towards the guys. I guess I should leave now, but Jasper would have to take me back...I don't want to ruin their plans.

Ugh.

I reach Edward and he's sitting cross-legged on the blanket, and I quickly move around him to straddle his lap.

"Hey, beautiful." He smiles, bringing his hand up to twist it in my hair and pulling me into a chaste open mouthed kiss.

I kiss him back sweetly, smiling against his mouth. "Mmm, hi," I mumble against his lips.

Suddenly, I remember that I need to go, and I pull back slightly, frowning. I don't want to go...

"What's wrong?" His forest green eyes glimmer with concern.

I lay my forehead against his shoulder, inhaling the sweet smell that is entirely Edward. It warms my body and makes my head feel fuzzy, like I'm high. Just not as good as a real high. I kiss his neck and lock eyes with him.

"I have to go..." I whisper sadly, not wanting our time together to end, even if I might see him tonight.

I'm not totally sure I can go see him play, but the look on his face when I told him that was heart breaking, and I really do wanna see him play. It's just...I knew Rosalie was going to find out I came to see him and she'll want me to stay in tonight to hang out with her.

We'll just have to see how things pan out...

"Oh," He responds, disappointment lacing his tone. "Jazz, you ready to go? Bella needs a ride back to her car."

* * *

><p>"Rose! I'm home!" I yell as I close the apartment door behind me, the only sound in the apartment.<p>

I walk deliberately through the apartment, searching the living room and kitchen, before I stumble upon my bedroom where Rose is sitting on my bed Indian-style. She looks distressed. A slight frown on her face and her hands fidgeting in her lap.

"Hey," I say hesitantly, walking over to the bed and sitting down next to her.

She looks up at me, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Rose, sweetie, what's wrong?" I ask softy, putting my arm around her shoulders and hugging her tightly to me.

"I..." An abrupt sob pours out of her, and I run my hand through her hair to try and console her.

"It's okay, Rose, it's okay. Whatever it is we'll get through it, alright? I love you, we can get through anything. Our friendship is the most important thing to me, and I promise you, nothing will change that." I say soothingly, brushing her hair back and planting a kiss on her forehead.

"I cheated on Emmett!" She blurts out, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.

"With who?"

Her sobbing becomes louder until she finally whispers, "Edward."

I quickly jump to my feet as anger boils up inside of me.

I see red.

What. The. Fuck!

It was one thing when I thought that it was maybe that reason. I didn't want to believe it.

But, now that I have to believe it?

Edward is MINE!

Knowing that Rosalie fucked Edward before me makes me want to fucking break something.

Don't even get me started with Emmett! How could she do that to him? He's been nothing but loving to her and she does this to him?

When me and Rose first started messing around, Emmett didn't like it but when we told him it was just for fun, he chilled out about it. That, is understandable, but just because they were fighting a lot, she had to go have sex with someone else? Edward? MY Edward?

"Why didn't you tell me!" I shout loudly, my voice filled with rage. "How many times, Rose?"

"I didn't know how you'd take it! I was scared! Just a few times, Bella, it didn't mean anything to either of us!" She bellows back.

"You should have! He means something to me, Rose! You know this! I told you that! You should have told me in the beginning!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't change what you did, Rose! You're going to have to tell Emmett! Did Edward know you had a boyfriend when you fucked him?" I yelled viciously, not even trying to hide my anger.

"What the fuck, Rose! How could you do this to me?" Emmett, who is suddenly standing in the doorway with tears streaming down his face and his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

I have never seen Emmett cry in all the years I've known him. I've known him for five years. We met when we were sixteen, and him and Rose were friends for awhile until she decided she actually wanted to be with him. They'd been joined at the hip since.

"With Edward? Seriously, Rose? I heard everything, and no need to explain. I don't want to hear it. We're over. I'll pack my shit and be out of your way." He seethes, the vein in his forehead bulging and his face red. "Then you can go fuck whoever you want!" With that, Emmett turns on his heel and heads to their bedroom. Rosalie follows behind him.

I quickly grab a piece of scrap paper and a pen before jotting out a quick note to Rosalie.

_Rose,_

_I'm sorry I yelled at you like I did. It just pissed me off that you never told me. I feel betrayed, and hurt. _

_I need some time to cool down. I will be back tomorrow after my tattoo appointment. We will get past this._

_I love you,_

_Bella_

Sounds of drawers banging closed and their fighting are the only sounds to be heard as I rush to the door and out to my car.

I have to get out of here.

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><p><strong>Well, there you have it! Chapter 9 will be coming soon! PLEASE review, guys! I have to know how I'm doing here. <strong>

**You're all amazing! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me :) **


	9. Self-Control and Surprises

_Chapter 9- Self-Control and Surprises _

**Thank you to the awesome ShellyCherea for all her amazing help!**

**A/N: !~~PLEASE READ~~!**

**So I'm sure some of you have heard 'I Was Broken' by Marcus Foster(Robert sings it, too) , and that will be mentioned in here, along with a few other songs. Such as, 'I Caught Fire' by The Used, and I'll Be Your Lover Too by Robert Pattinson. _PLEASE LISTEN TO THESE SONGS BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER_ so you know how they sound. Links will be down there. Knowing what the songs sound like with make the chapter 10x better. :)**

**I Was Broken- youtubedotcom/watch?v=BJcfBmBP8Nk  
>I Caught Fire- youtubedotcomwatch?v=VLoOx86A6bE  
>I'll Be Your Lover Too- youtubedotcomwatch?v=KIKMnix_OJ0**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The hours dragged on in a stream of nothingness. No thoughts. Nothing.

I don't know how long I've laid in this field, the sunshine warming my skin. My numb emotions match the numbness in my limbs from hours of laying motionless. The pale colored wild flowers tickling my arms and neck in a delightful way.

I lost track of how much Vicodin I've shot up, which I am currently running low on.

Eventually, the sun starts to set, igniting the sky in an array of pink and orange. The colors morphing together, the setting sun making the clouds almost look like they're on fire.

The beauty reminds me of Edward and how beautiful he is, and suddenly, all I wanna do is see him. Be in his presence and see his smile. Feel his strong arms wrap around me, making me feel safe and secure. Run my hands through his soft hair. Feel his stubble scratch against my face as I kiss his smooth, delicious lips.

I'm guessing by the sky that it's around 7. I don't know when Edward's gig is, but I'm guessing it's around...now.

I race to my car and take off towards Cherokee Street.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I miss Bella already. Is that pathetic? It probably is, but I just don't have it in me to care. She's become everything to me. It's hard to concentrate on anything when I'm not with her.

She's quickly becoming an addiction.

_Great, another one._

I chuckle humorlessly to myself as I lay back down on the couch, checking the clock on the cable box.

_5:47 PM_

I have to be at 2720 in, like, forty-five minutes.

Jasper just left to go get ready for the gig. We spent all day practicing the songs we're playing tonight. He told me I'm whipped and laughed when I named the songs I wanted to play, but was nice enough to call Tyler Crowley to sit in on the drums for one of the songs. Which is perfect because Tyler knows the song by heart.

My hands twitch, reminding me of what I've been wanting to do ever since I shot up with Bella. I don't know why I tortured myself with not taking any since then...

I guess I'm afraid the high won't be as good now that I've shot it up.

Do I really want to start shooting it up? It's not a wise idea, that's for sure.

Why do I want it _so damn bad? _The craving has been tripled. It's unnerving.

I want that feeling. That amazing floating feeling that accompanies a happiness I've never felt before.

_Just do it_, my inner voice screams at me._ It's not like you care if you die or not._

_Yes I do!_ I scream back. Bella makes me care. She makes me want to live.

My inner monologue is silenced when I realize I'm standing in the kitchen with my stash in hand.

How in the fuck did I get in here?

Fuck it.

I shake four out of the bag and in my hand, re-closing the bag and stuffing it in my pocket.

I grab a spoon from the drawer, a bottle of water from the refrigerator and walk back into the living room, plopping down on the couch.

My heart races in my chest as I open the drawer in my side table, pulling out a needle and tourniquet from when I would practice giving shots at home. I pull a cigarette from my pack and rip off the filter. I set the Vicodin down on my glass coffee table, crushing them with a credit card from my wallet. I scoop up the crushed Vicodin, putting it on the spoon and adding water. I take my lighter out of my pocket and hold the flame under the solution, watching it bubble up and separate. I set the spoon carefully on the table and rip open the wrapped needle, and grab the cigarette filter. I shakily hold the filter barely touching the solution, lining the needle into the filter before slowly drawing it up into the syringe.

When I'm ready, I swallow the lump in my throat, flicking the bubbles out of the syringe before quickly tying the tourniquet on my arm.

_Wow. This is it. I'm really doing it. _

There's no turning back from this.

This is a test of my self-control...

I'm failing, miserably.

I line the needle into my vein and rip the tourniquet off my bicep before slowly releasing the liquid heaven into my veins.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

**FEATURING:  
><strong>**Edward Cullen & Jasper Whitlock  
><strong>**at 7:00 PM  
><strong>**Alice Brandon-Cullen  
><strong>**at 8:00 PM**

**OPENING FOR:  
><strong>**The Freevibe FunkTribe  
>at 9:00 PM<br>**

As I stare at the sign next to the door of 2720, I take deep, calming breaths. Why am I here? Shouldn't I be mad at Edward?

Why aren't I? Am I really not mad at him at all?

Maybe this was a bad idea...

I do miss him, though.

Ever since Edward came into my life, I haven't been able to fucking think straight.

Like, what the fuck?!

And, who's Alice? Is that his sister or something? He never told me he had a sister? I mean, family never came up with either of us...so I guess he wouldn't have mentioned it...

I take out my phone and check the time.

_6:53 PM_

I look around the parking lot and spot Edward's car.

My heart leaps in my chest, and I sigh heavily.

I'm going in...

I reach for the metal door handle, swinging the heavy door open wide, and the smell of smoke and beer invades my nostrils. My eyes immediately hone in on Edward, the lights from the stage casting an angelic glow over him.

I grin widely at the scene before me. Edward and Jasper are setting the stage for their performance, both of them deep in concentration. A third guy, Tyler Crowley, who I met briefly in high school, is setting up drums behind them.

Edward's hair is covered beneath a black beanie, but he still looks like the most gorgeous guy I've ever laid eyes on. He's wearing a gray logo T-shirt that is ripped near the hem on his back, a pair of dark jeans that hug his delicious ass perfectly, and a pair of black vans adorn his feet.

"ID, please." A deep voice sounds from the right of me. A big burly dude with a black 'Security' t-shirt is smirking and holding out his hand.

"Oh, right..." I mumble, digging in my purse for my wallet. I quickly pluck my ID out and hand it to the guy.

His eyebrows raise as he reads my ID, and he quickly looks up at me. "You're Bella? The Bella? Edward's Bella?" He asks.

I laugh quietly, slightly confused. "Uh, I...guess?"

"Well, enjoy the show." He smiles, handing my ID back to me.

"Thanks," I reply, smiling.

As I'm walking away, I hear a mumbled, "It is for you, after all."

My brows furrow as I find my way through the crowd, the only chairs being at the back of the venue, by the bar. I decide to stand close to the stage, but not close enough for Edward to spot me unless he tries. I find a spot between a brunette with a lot of facial piercings and pink streaks in her hair, and a husky guy with a giant beard that smells like nachos.

The lights on the stage dim and the crowd goes eerily silent when a single spotlight falls on Edward and Jasper. Both holding an acoustic guitar, but Jasper has an electric sitting by his feet.

Edward's feet are tucked adorably in his stool, one hand on the microphone.

He clears his throat, a nervous smile on his lips. "Hi, everyone. Thank you all for coming. As most of you know, I'm Edward Cullen." The crowd erupts into cheers and whistles, and Edward smiles widely before gesturing to his right. "This here is Jasper Whitlock, and that back there," He points over his shoulder. "Is Tyler Crowley, and tonight we will be playing a set of songs..." His voice drifts off and his eyes search the crowd before falling on me. He smiles beautifully at me, and I can't help the smile that spreads on my face. I give him a small wave and he winks at me. "A set of songs for a _very_ special girl. Her name is Bella and she is truly amazing."

A spotlight finds me in the crowd and I blush furiously from his words and the attention I'm receiving from the crowd.

My heart soars. He thinks I'm special. He just said it in front of 100 plus people. The spotlight falls off me and I quickly move to the front of the stage so he can see me better.

The girl beside me elbows me gently, a wicked smile on her face. "Lucky bitch," She says jokingly.

I laugh softly, muttering a quiet 'thanks'.

"I actually wasn't sure if she would even show tonight. I was really nervous." He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. "You guys have no idea how relieved and happy I am. Thanks for coming, beautiful. It means a lot to me, but let's get this started, shall we?" At that, he starts strumming his guitar, creating a soft, beautiful melody.

"This song is called 'I Was Broken', it's by Marcus Foster."

I hear a soft, "Officer arrest that man," from somewhere beside me, but I am too engrossed in Edward to even break my eyes from him.

He plays a couple more cords before singing, "I was bro-" In a soulful, deep voice, before him and Jasper start chuckling softly. He quickly composes himself and his brows furrow in deep concentration before belting out the song in the most beautiful voice I've ever heard.

It's deeper than his regular voice, but the sound makes my insides churn, in the most amazing way.

_I was tied but now unbound_  
><em>My head is off the ground<em>  
><em>For a long time I was so weary<em>  
><em>Tired of the sound, I've heard before<em>  
><em>The gnawing of the night time at the door<em>  
><em>Haunted by the things I've made<em>  
><em>Stuck between the burning light and the dusty shade<em>

His fingers flow easily over the guitar, his voice raw and rough. My eyes trained only on him, my heart beating wildly in my chest as I hear him sing the haunting melody, to me.

_Said I used to think the past was dead and gone_  
><em>But I was wrong, so wrong<em>  
><em>Whatever makes you blind must make you strong, make you strong<em>  
><em>In my time I've melted into many forms<em>  
><em>From the day that I was born, I know that there is no place to hide<em>  
><em>Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light<em>

_I was broken for a long time_  
><em>But it's over now<em>  
><em>Said I was broken for a long time<em>  
><em>But it's over now<em>

I feel tears prick at my eyes as the words flow from his lips, my hands shaking. My thoughts from the other day ring in my mind loudly,_ "_The moment our bodies connected, something inside me connected, too. S__omething that was broken, but it's not anymore."__

_Yes and you,_  
><em>yeah well you walk these lonely streets that people send, people send<em>  
><em>There are some wounds that just can't mend<em>  
><em>And I do pretend<em>  
><em>Now I'm free from all the things that take my friends<em>  
><em>And I will stand here till the end<em>  
><em>Now I know I can take the moon<em>  
><em>Stuck between the burning shade and the faded light<em>

_And I was broken for a long time_  
><em>But it's over now, it's over now<em>  
><em>Mm it's over now, now, now<em>  
><em>It's over now, it's over now.<em>  
><em>It's over now, now<em>

_Said I was broken for a long time_  
><em>But it's over, but it's over<em>  
><em>But it's over, but it's over<em>  
><em>But it's over, but it's over<em>  
><em>But it's over now, now, now, now<em>  
><em>But it's over, but it's over<em>  
><em>But it's over now<em>  
><em>But it's over, but it's over<em>  
><em>But it's over now, now, now<em>  
><em>I was broken for a long time yeah<em>  
><em>But it's over, but it's over now yeah<em>  
><em>Over now, it's all over, it's over now<em>

The crowd cheers loudly, clapping and yelling. I smile up at him and he smiles right back.

As the crowd quiets, he clears his throat and says a quiet 'Thank you' into the mic.

"This next one is called 'I'll Be Your Lover Too'," He says quietly, confidently. He winks at me before he starts strumming the guitar.

The chords ring out loudly as the crowd becomes silent, his eyes on mine, and a small smile on his lips.

_I'll be your man_  
><em>I'll understand<em>  
><em>I'll do my best<em>  
><em>To take good care of you<em>

_You'll be my queen_  
><em>I'll be your king<em>  
><em>And I'll be your lover too<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah<em>

_Yes I will_

_Derry down green_  
><em>Color of my dream<em>  
><em>A dream that's daily coming true.<em>  
><em>And ohhh when the day is through<em>  
><em>I will come to you and take you on<em>  
><em>Your many charms<em>

_And you'll look at me_  
><em>With eyes that see<em>  
><em>And we'll melt into each others arms<em>

_You'll be my queen_  
><em>And I'll be your king<em>  
><em>And I'll be your lover too<em>

Claps ring out all around me, and I chime in. I'm so happy and ecstatic that he's serenading me with this amazing voice and his beautiful hands. My whole body is shaking from my restraint of not going to him and kissing the ever loving shit out of him, throw myself into his arms and stay there forever.

He clears his throat again, leaning down to take a drink of water from a glass down by his feet. "Thanks. This next one is called 'I Caught Fire' by The Used." He says softly into the mic, standing up from his stool and bringing it a couple feet away. "Bella," He says my name as he points a finger and crooks it towards him, silently asking me to come up on stage.

"You want me to come up there?" I mouth to him, and he smiles widely and nods his head yes.

I blush furiously and take a few deep breaths before climbing up on the stage and sitting down on the stool beside him. Jasper picks up the electric guitar and gives me a crooked smile before he starts playing. He's amazing, too. I love this song and Jasper definitely can play it well.

Edward bends down and brushes his lips against mine softly, as Tyler starts drumming to the beat of the song.

Edward takes a small step back and starts bobbing his head, before belting out the lyrics in a higher voice than the rest of his songs. His voice is still amazing, and it gives me goosebumps.

_Seemed to stop my breath_  
><em>My head on your chest<em>  
><em>Waiting to cave in<em>  
><em>From the bottom of my...<em>  
><em>Hear your voice again<em>  
><em>Could we dim the sun<em>  
><em>And wonder where we've been<em>  
><em>Maybe you and me<em>  
><em>So kiss me like you did<br>_Edward steps close to me, standing between my legs and gently caressing my face from my temple to my chin, making me smile widely. He takes a step back and he and Jasper grin at each other.  
><em>My heart stopped beating<br>__Such a softer sin..._

Jasper softly sings the echo_ (_I'm melting, I'm melting_)_  
><em>In your eyes<em>  
><em>I lost my place<em>  
><em>Could stay a while<em>

_And I'm melting_  
><em>In your eyes<em>  
><em>Like my first time<em>  
><em>That I caught fire<br>_Edward's eyes bore into mine while a smirk plays on his face, his stare setting my skin aflame.  
><em>Just stay with me<br>__Lay with me  
><em>_Now_

_Never caught my breath  
><em>Edward steps close to me again, nodding his head and pointing at me as he sings the next line.  
><em>Every second I'm without you I'm a mess<br>__Ever know each other  
><em>_Trust these words are stones  
><em>_Why cuts aren't healing  
><em>_(_why cuts aren't healing_)  
><em>_Learning how to love_

Edward stays standing between my legs, his eyes on mine.

_I'm melting (_I'm melting_)_  
><em>In your eyes<em>  
><em>I lost my place<em>  
><em>Could stay a while<em>  
><em>And I'm melting<em>  
><em>In your eyes<em>  
><em>Like my first time<em>  
><em>That I caught fire<em>  
><em>Just stay with me<em>  
><em>Lay with me<em>  
><em>(<em>Stay with me lay with me now_)_

_You could stay and watch me fall_  
><em>And of course I'll ask for help<em>  
><em>Just stay with me now<em>  
><em>We could take our HATS off<em>  
><em>stay in bed and just make love that's all<br>_Edward smiles widely as Jasper sings the echo, making me chuckle at his adorableness.  
><em>(<em>stay in bed, just make love that's all_)  
><em>_Just stay with me now_

_I'm melting (_I'm melting_)_  
><em>In your eyes<em>  
><em>I lost my place<em>  
><em>Could stay a while<em>  
><em>and I'm melting<em>

_In your eyes_  
><em>Like my first time<em>  
><em>That I caught fire<em>  
><em>Just stay with me<em>  
><em>Lay with me<em>  
><em>In your eyes<em>  
><em>I lost my place<em>  
><em>Could stay a while<em>  
><em>and I'm melting<em>  
><em>In your eyes<em>  
><em>Like my first time<em>  
><em>That I caught fire<em>  
><em>Just stay with me lay with me<em>  
><em>(<em>Stay with me, lay with me_)__  
><em>

_In your eyes  
><em>_Let's sleep till the sun burns out  
><em>_I'm melting in your eyes (_I'm melting in your eyes_)  
><em>_In your eyes  
><em>_Let's sleep till the sun burns out  
><em>_I'm melting in your eyes_

As his whispered words ring softly in echo, he drops his mic on the ground as I stand up and throw my arms around his neck, hugging him to me tightly. No one has ever done anything this sweet for me. With tears in my eyes, I pull back slightly and look into his, smiling widely at the goofy grin on his face. He crushes his lips to mine and I open my mouth greedily, wanting to taste him, not caring who's watching. His tongue meets mine eagerly, his hand sliding up to the back of my head and tangling in my hair. The crowd cheers loudly at our display and I distinctly hear Jasper shout, "Fuck yeah!"

When I'm out of breath, I pull back and smile at him softly. "Thank you," I whisper to him.

"You're welcome, beautiful. I'm glad you liked it, and that you showed up." He says, turning his head to look over at Jasper. "Can you...?" He points to his guitar and the rest of the set. Jasper nods and shoos us off the stage, and Edward and I weave our way through the crowd until we reach the bar in back. _  
><em>

"Want a drink? They're free." He smiles, pulling two bar stools together so we can sit close to each other.

I sit down and he quickly places his hand at the small of my back. "Yeah, sure."

Before we can even order our drinks, two tequila sunrises' are set in front of us. I smile over at him, and thank the bartender. It's one of my favorite drinks, and it's obviously one of his, too.

"I would say let's get out of here, but my sister comes on next. She sort of surprised me by showing up tonight. She lives pretty far away." He says, before wrapping his lips around the tiny straw, looking over at me and seriously being too adorable for his own good.

"Oh, yeah, I..uh..saw the sign out front." I reply, dazzled by the way his Adam's apple bobs up and down as he drinks. "That's cool she surprised you like that." I say, taking the straw out of my drink and taking large gulps to calm my nerves.

"I missed you today," He says sweetly, leaning in to nuzzle and kiss my neck. "Even if it was only a few hours." He chuckles softly, his breath near my ear causing me to shiver.

"Me too," I reply, smiling. My smile quickly vanishes as I remember what happened when I left him earlier. "I actually, um, have something I need to talk to you about."

"Yeah?" He nudges my neck, trailing kisses up it and causing a blush to spread to my cheeks and my heart rate to increase. His kisses trail up my chin and finally reach my mouth. His soft lips capture my bottom lip and the smell of him invades my senses. I lose all train of thought as he pulls back slightly and captures my top lip, his sweet breath mingling with my own, making me dizzy with want.

He pulls back all too soon, leaving me dazed and a little confused.

"What is it that you need to talk to me about?" He whispers softly, smirking, his breath fanning over my face.

"Um..." What _was_ I gonna talk to him about?

He chuckles softly, tucking a lock of wayward hair behind my ear.

Oh, right...Rosalie.

"I...got into a fight with Rose today," I state, not really interested in talking about this right now. "Can we just...talk about it later?"

He gives me a tight smile. "Yeah, okay," He sits up straight in his chair, keeping a hand at the small of my back, and downs the rest of his tequila sunrise.

I down the rest of mine, and before I have time to say anything else, a high-pitched voice sounds throughout the venue.

"Hi! I'm Alice Cullen! Yes, I'm Edward's sister..." She chuckles, and Edward and I turn in our chairs to look at her. "He actually didn't even know I was coming into town, so, I surprised him! That's not the only surprise I have for him, though. I'm moving back! Well, I moved back today. I got an apartment and everything! Okay, I'm rambling now," She laughs, and I look over at Edward and his mouth is hanging open in shock. It would be comical if I knew if it was a happy or pissed sort of shock. He signals the waiter and holds up two fingers.

"Well, I have a few songs I want to sing, I hope you guys enjoy. This first one is called 'Breathe (2 AM)' by Anna Nalick. Edward, I'm using your guitar," She chuckles quietly into the mic before she taps her foot three times, and begins to sing.

Her voice is beautiful, Edward's family is very talented.

"Your sister is very good," I say as our drinks arrive in front of us. Edward nods swiftly, avoiding eye contact, and I wonder what's changed his mood.

"Are you mad your sister is moving back?" I ask cautiously, taking large gulps of my delicious fruity drink. I dig in my purse and pull out two cigarettes and my lighter, lighting them both and handing Edward one.

He nods his head no, taking a long drag of his cigarette and ashing it. "I just...I can only guess her reasoning, and it's dumb. I don't need a goddamn babysitter." He snaps, laughing humorlessly.

I flinch at his tone, and he finally looks over at me. "I'm...sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just...can we talk about this later?" He asks, smiling at me softly. He takes a couples sips of his drink and pulls me closer to him, smashing our sides together.

I revel in his warmth, and wrap my arm around his middle, squeezing his side softly. "Yeah, later." I whisper, setting my forehead against his shoulder.

I breathe in deeply, my body relaxing from his smell. He smells like fresh linen, a hint of cigarettes, and something purely Edward.

The venue cheers, and I look up towards the stage. "Thanks, guys! This next, and last one is called, 'Ordinary Day' by Vanessa Carlton." She says, before quickly starting the song. I haven't heard this song in years, it's nice. There's no piano, but she's strumming the guitar accordingly.

We stay, sitting quietly and finishing our cigarettes until there's a tap on my shoulder. We both look back, and Alice herself is standing there, bouncing in her heels. She looks even more beautiful up close.

_Wow...what a gene pool._

She waves excitedly. "Hi, Bella! I'm Alice!" I stand up, and hold my hand out for her to shake, but she pulls me in for a tight hug. I'm a little surprised at first, but quickly hug her back.

"It's nice to meet you," I say as I pull away, and she smiles brightly at me.

"We're going to be the best of friends! I just know it!" She says with a little too much enthusiasm.

I look at her, shocked. "Uh...yeah,"

"So," She looks at Edward. "Why haven't you mentioned Bella to me?" She puts her hand over her heart. "I'm hurt," She pouts adorably.

"Alice," Edward says, his voice a warning. "Can I talk to you privately for a minute?"

She doesn't respond, they just walk far enough away so I can't hear. They talk animatedly for a few minutes, Edward's hands flying up in gesture and his jaw clenched. Alice clearly looks upset.

Alice storms off in the other direction and Edward immediately walks towards me, stopping a few inches away.

"Wanna get out of here?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I want your guys' thoughts! I really love this chapter so I hope you all did, too! Give me some reviews, and don't forget to check out the banners/pics/info for this story on my profile!**


	10. Show and Tell

_Chapter 10**- **Show and Tell_

** A/N: I bet you guys are lovin' all the updates! ENJOY! :)**

***There are pictures/banners/info for this pic on my profile! Check em out!***

* * *

><p><em>Have I found you<br>Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth  
>Big pill looming<em>

_-Flightless Bird, American Mouth, Iron & Wine_

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV <strong>

"Why are you here, Alice?" I say, in the calmest way possible.

"I've missed you, Edward!" She cries, tears welling up in her eyes.

"There has to be more to it than that! I'm not stupid!" I yell back, my jaw set tight and my hands balled into fists at my sides. "You think I need a babysitter? Is that it? You wanna be close in case I try to off myself again?!"

"I worry about you! You don't know what it's like, Edward! You didn't find me half-dead lying in a pile of my own vomit! I just want to be around you. To know for myself that you're okay! Please don't be mad at me! I love you!" Tears are streaming down her face freely now, my resolve weakening.

I _do_ know what it's like to watch someone you care about almost die.

Bella.

It was terrifying and haunting...

I don't want to say anything about it to Alice, now is not the time to bring it up, and she knows I can't stay mad at her. She's my weakness, my soft spot.

I just hate that she's treating me like a child. Why can't she just live her life and be happy? I don't want to be a burden to her.

"You don't have to worry anymore. I'm...fine now." I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Is this because of Bella? What if something goes wrong? I just wanna be here for you."

"It is because of her. She makes me happy." I say through gritted teeth, anger still evident in my voice. "Look, Alice, you had a_ life _in New York. Why in the world would I be okay with you throwing your dreams away for me?!" I scream, waving my hands. "I'm not worth it! Go live your life!"

"You are worth it! Don't you get it?" She snaps, her features becoming angry. "You have people who love you, Edward! People who want to be here for you. Just accept it! I'm staying and that's final." With that, she storms off, her heels clicking angrily on the linoleum floors.

I walk back over to Bella, trying to compose myself by taking deep breaths while I approach her. "Wanna get out of here?"

She smiles softly at me. "Yeah, let's go." She says, grabbing my hand and linking our fingers together. The second our skin makes contact, I finally relax.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure...you can...take me back...to...my car tomorrow?" Bella asks in between hungry kisses. I hum my response.<p>

She slams my front door shut with her foot, and I smash her up against it, running my hands up her shirt. I smile against her lips as she moans into my mouth, loving the sound.

"Wait..wait..." She whispers, softly pushing against my chest.

I give her a quizzical look, my eyebrows raising in question.

"What?" I smile playfully.

"We need to talk," She says, slowly walking us over to the couch and sitting down, discarding her purse on the coffee table.

I pull on her arm, guiding her to straddle my lap.

"_Fuck_...I don't know how we're going to get any talking done with you sitting like this," I chuckle, bucking my obvious erection into her for emphasis.

She giggles, trying to slide off my lap, but I hold her there. "No...stay, I like it," I say, biting my lip and smiling.

"God, you're so sexy," She murmurs before brushing her lips to mine softly. "But, we really need to talk,"

"Okay, okay, talk." I chuckle, gesturing with my hands for her to start.

"What were you and your sister fighting about?" She asks, her eyes searching my own.

"I..." I sigh heavily. "A while back I...fuck..." I set my forehead against her shoulder, taking a deep breath. _Now or never._ "I took a whole bunch of pills...and she found me..." I mumble.

She pulls my face up gently so she can look me in the eye. "You tried to kill yourself?" She asks sadly, a pout on her beautiful lips.

I nod my head yes, and try to hide my face in her shoulder again, but she doesn't let me.

"Why, baby?" She asks, her bottom lip quivering. Her eyes fill up with tears and I can't take it anymore. I throw my arms around her and hug her to me tightly, my chest constricted with emotion.

"I didn't want to live anymore...I didn't see the point." I cry into her shoulder.

"Do you feel that way now...?" She asks, her voice shaky.

I nod my head no against her shoulder, and she pulls my beanie off my head, running her hands through my hair lovingly.

"So you guys were fighting because of that?" She asks cautiously.

"Sort of...She moved here because she's worried I'd try again. I told her I'm not worth it." I whisper softly.

"You are worth it," She says, her voice rising with anger.

"I'm not worth her throwing her dreams away, Bella..." I say dejectedly. "She had a life in New York...I'm ruining her life. I don't want that."

"Maybe there's more to it than that," She sighs. "Maybe she's not throwing her dreams away...She just wants you safe, Edward. I'd want the same. I _do_ want the same for you. If I never met you..." She lets her voice fade, swallowing hard. "I just want you happy."

"I am happy. You make me happy," I say, lifting my head and giving her a small smile, looking into her deep brown eyes.

She smiles sadly. "You make me happy, too." She clears her throat, and her face becomes serious. "Can I ask you something?" She asks, her voice unsure.

"Anything."

"Did you have sex with Rosalie?" She asks, a hint of anger in her tone.

_Oh, shit._

I completely forgot about that.

"Yes," I murmur in answer, avoiding eye contact.

She immediately gets up off my lap, standing a few feet in front of me. Her face red, hands curled into fists. She looks like a kitten about to attack. It would be adorable if her anger wasn't directed towards me.

"When?" She demands through gritted teeth.

"I don't know? A while back. Why?" I ask, standing up and taking a step towards her. "Bella, why are you so mad at me?"

"When!?" She yells heatedly.

I think back to when. "A few weeks before I tried to kill myself! Why do you care so much!?" I scream back, mad at her irrational anger.

Her face softens and a tiny sob escapes her. "Because you're mine!" She cries, throwing her arms around her torso. "Did you know about Emmett?" She whispers, squeezing her eyes shut.

"What about Emmett? Were they dating then?" I ask. I didn't know she was dating anyone at the time. "No, I didn't know, Bella. We didn't exactly talk much." I laugh humorlessly.

Her eyes fly open. "Oh, so you didn't give a shit about Rosalie? You just mindlessly fucked her?" She shouts, a tear rolling down her cheek and in between her open lips. "I thought you were better than that!"

"I was on the verge of killing myself, Bella! I didn't care about anything or anyone! I just wanted to feel something! Anything!" I yell at her, my eyes stinging with tears. "She was just...there. She wanted it, too, I didn't think she had a boyfriend. Why would she be coming to me if she did?"

I tentatively reach out and brush the hair out of her face. She flinches away from my touch, her sorrowful eyes shining. "Do you just mindlessly fuck me?" She asks, her voice small. Her eyes boring into mine.

My gut clenches as I process what she's just asked. It's like she's just ripped my heart out. "How could you even ask that?"

"Why am I any different?"

"Because," I say softly, taking another step towards her, and looking into her eyes. "When you look into my eyes, I feel like you're looking into my heart, and I feel like I'm doing the same with you."

I have no idea where the words come from, but they couldn't be more true.

Her breath hitches, her eyes closing softly at my words.

"Kiss me," She whispers, almost inaudibly.

My heart practically skips a beat as I close the space between us. I slowly bring my lips to hers, cupping her face in my hands and caressing the apple of her cheek. She brings her hands up and entwines them in my hair, tugging lightly.

I pull back slightly and look into her chocolate brown eyes, the gold in them shining brightly against the red from her crying. I trail my hands down past her hips, to the underside of her thighs, picking her up and wrapping her legs around my waist. I place lingering kisses on her chin and down her neck while carrying her down the hall and to my bedroom.

I lay her down gently on my bed, crawling up her body until I've reached her stomach. I gingerly pull the hem of her shirt up, exposing her milky white skin, letting my fingers caress the soft skin there. I place wet, open mouth kisses up and down her stomach, making her gasp softly. I smile against her skin, and when I slowly pull on the button of her jeans, she lifts her hips up to allow me to take them off. I pull her jeans down past her thighs, and off her ankles, taking her socks off with them. I kiss up her legs to her stomach, and pull her shirt up and off. Since she's wearing the same outfit as the past couple days, she's still not wearing a bra. She smiles at me as I ogle her almost naked body, and my insides fill with warmth.

"You're so beautiful when you smile," I murmur as I kiss a path up to her mouth. I capture her top lip between my own, breathing her in, before sucking her bottom lip into my mouth. She smiles softly as I release her lip with a 'pop'. I slide my hand up her thigh and grab her right breast, kneading the taut peak between my fingers.

She moans quietly, her hands finding purchase on my hips and gripping them tightly. "Edward," She moans, dragging her hands up my sides and pulling at the hem of my shirt. "I need to feel you,"

I let her pull my shirt off, and her hands are quickly at my jeans. I pull those off, too, along with my boxers, before returning my lips to her stomach.

"God, you're so soft," I moan as my hands travel up and down her sides. She moans at my words, her hands in my hair, tugging and pulling softly.

My fingers find the hem of her panties, and I rip them down her legs and throw them. I take her delectable nipple into my mouth, moaning at the salty sweetness of her skin.

"Please, Edward," She moans, gripping my hair tightly and pulling my face to hers. Our lips lock, and our tongues clash as I line my body up with hers. The need to be inside of her completely overwhelming me to the point of making my hands shake.

I bring a shaky hand up and entwine it in her hair, pulling my lips from hers to look into her eyes as I sheathe myself into her warmth.

We both moan, the sounds almost coming out as sobs.

"This is...the best feeling I've ever known," I whisper to her. "I'll never tire of this feeling," I pull almost all the way out of her, pushing back in achingly slow.

"God, Edward," She moans. "So amazing, you're so amazing." She's writhing and gripping at the muscles in my back, my skin prickling under her fingers.

"You're body is perfect, it's everything I've ever wanted. Y_ou're_ everything I've ever wanted." I murmur, repeating the torture of going slowly in and out of her.

She crushes her lips to mine, pulling back slightly when we're both breathless. "God, baby," She sighs, running her lips along my jaw and planting kisses on my neck.

I moan loudly, throwing my head back and giving her easier access. I tremble from the feeling of her lips on me, slamming into her warmth harder and making her cry out against my neck.

"I've never felt anything like this before," She whispers against my neck, bringing her mouth up and sucking my earlobe. "You make me feel so good,"

I slam back into her with such force, she throws her head back against the pillows, squeezing her eyes shut as a violent moan pours out of her.

I pull on her chin softly with my thumb, watching as she complies to my silent request, opening her eyes to meet mine. I cover her mouth with my own, her lips enclosing mine. A deep groan starts deep in my chest as her hips gyrate, meeting my hips with every slow thrust. The pleasure it's creating making my mind fuzzy.

I pull my mouth from hers, setting my forehead against her shoulder, her hands immediately finding my hair. "Please don't ever leave me," I mumble, the thought of never getting to be with her like this weighing heavy on my chest.

"Never," She whispers, sliding her nails against my scalp, making me shudder violently. "Come, baby, come inside of me," She cries out softly, making me thrust into her harder and harder until we're both breathless and I can't hold out anymore.

I feel her hands tighten in my hair and her pussy tighten around my cock as I shoot my warm seed inside of her, panting and moaning against her shoulder.

One last guttural moan and Bella's body sags against the sheets, her hands falling limp in my hair.

I get up to move, but she stops me. "Stay...just for a little while..." She says softly into my hair, kissing the top of my head lovingly.

I smile against her, letting my full weight rest on top of her. I wrap my arms under her back and squeeze her to me tightly, our bodies fitting together perfectly.

And that's exactly how we fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: HOT MAKE UP SEX, SAY WHAAAAT :O**


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